#THE HEALING THING WITH LANA HAPPENED...

[guidingthulite]

i finished yokai gakuen

[harmoonix]

SALVATORE

Astrology Observations

Descendant (your 7th house has the same degrees as your ascendant/rising), at 4° 16° 28° degrees craves a more soft love type. They're definitely attracted to more tender people

Descendant at 6° 18° degrees craves a more rational love. They wanna keep it real, and without any illusions or fake people, they're attracted to authentic people

Descendant at 1° 13° 25° degrees craves the dominant lover type, someone who they can rely on or and to be there when they need it. They're attracted to people who show dominant energies

Descendant at 5° 17° 29° degrees craves a type of love without any obstacles, no one can interfere in their love, someone who can give them the moon and the stars

Venus in the 3rd decan (20° - 29° degrees) can definitely experience more relationships later in life, probably more in their adulthood than teenagehood

Venus aspecting the south node, especially if they are in the 7th house, gives me major vibes of a widow in a past life

Venus aspecting Saturn natives crave long and durable relationships rather than hooking up around and having one night stands

Mars aspecting Jupiter in good aspects natives are full of ambition and power to work/going through lots of harsh things

Mentally, Mars in the 3rd, 6th, and 11th houses are good. Here, Mars needs a lot of stimulation of the brain and more focus on the details

Jupiter in Libra natives can get lucky with a relationship and the people they surround themselves with. Their personality is likable

If you have soft moon signs like Pisces, Libra, Taurus, or Virgo, but your moon is aspecting Pluto, it will automatically make it more dark, so you may not relate with the 'soft moon observations'

Venus, in the 1st, 10th, and 12th hosue age so beautifully with the years, definitely going old and pretty too. Beautiful everywhere

Lana del rey's chart will always amaze me. She has Venus in Taurus in the 7th house, and that makes sense to so many of her songs. Bless her. Salvatore and doing time are some of my favorites from her

Jupiter in Aquarius natives can be very popular online/liked on social media. At the point of obsession sometimes/they can have a mass of ppl following them too

Pluto aspecting Moon is so dark on an emotional level, the native with these aspects can be even interested in death themes/afterlife/spiritual connection after death

Asteroid Aphrodite *1388* in harsh aspects to Venus (opposite, conjuction, square) tends to have a hard time learning how to love or how to receive it

Aphrodite 1388 in air signs can possess beautiful voices. You can often get compliments about having a nice voice

Aphrodite 1388 in good aspects to Moon (trine, conjuct, sextile) can be more in tune with their energy/emotional state. These natives can also have a huge feminine energy

Aphrodite 1388 in both harsh and good aspects to Pluto can indicate a powerful energy, striking beauty, more dominant than submissive and dark personality

Moon aspecting Mercury natives are very soft spoken. They usually have a pleasant voice/good at interacting with others. They know how to charm softly

Asteroid Circe (34) aspecting in Pluto can indicate psychic powers, seeing ghosts/entities/shadows, having a curiosity about death or about what happens after death

Circe aspecting Sun can have healing powers, not physically..but they can heal others with their words/energy, these natives can make others feel better quite easily

Jupiter aspecting Moon natives have (in harsh aspects) can have a hard time being optimistic, and the same can happen for those with Saturn - Moon aspects.

Ascendant aspecting Moon or Neptune natives have that kind of face you'll never be able to forget. It can be quite nostalgic/familar

Sun in the 3rd/9th house can get social with everyone in the room as long as they share the same vibe. They're pretty open to everything

Scorpio Risings can have so many intense people in their lives due to Pluto ruling their 1st house and Venus their 7th house with Taurus

Virgo Risings tend to have exes coming back in their lives due to Pisces energy in the 7th house, + if you have Mercury Retrogade in your chart as your 1st house ruler

Pisces Risings tend to meet hardworking partners due to their 7th house in Virgo. They might have good communication in their relationship.

Saturn or Capricorn in the 12th house of karma can sometimes indicate a hard life. It's not taken out of context, but it's very karmic

Uranus aspecting Venus (in harsh aspects) can be quite confusing. Especially on what they want/crave from their love life or partners, indecisive

Lilith aspecting Moon in harsh aspects rely very much on their emotional side. They can be at their lowest and still need some nurturing/care

Have a great weekend,everyone 🖤🖤

Harmoonix 🖤🖤🖤

[thedivinetarot]

I'm your man, I'm your man, if you're feeling lonely, I'll be the one

The personality of your next lover

☆ How to chose the perfect pile for you?

Close your eyes, take a deep breathe, clear your mind and ask the question in your head "who is my next lover?". And open your eyes, and the image that your eye is drawn to the most is your pile.

☆ Don't miss this month's offer read here ♧♧♧ for more information DM me💕.

☆ Who is this reading for?

Obviously single people but if you are in a place where you broke up I advice you to heal instead of wasting your time on this reading.

☆ Note:

I felt very called to do this reading. And for the spicy one it turned out to be so long that I had to do each pile in a different day. Anyways, also; this reading can be applied on your future spouse or just a future lover.

Enjoy Angels💕

Pile 1 - Aphrodite

Current energy:

Hello pile 1, how are you? I hope you are fine (you can skip the energy check if it didn't resonate with you, I just made it to make sure that the reading will be as accurate as possible).

Okay let's start. First I felt sick all of sudden, some people here are sick and have tonsillitis or cold (take what resonates). I see that the past few days you were trying to find balance in practical matters which led you to abandon your health and you fell ill. I felt suffocated all of sudden you either have a respiratory problem or you are carrying too much emotional burdens on your shoulders which is making you feel weighted down. I see disappointment, and recovery. This pile’s energy is straight forward, like even the Lenormand affirmed your energy that is been told by tarot. I see that some people here are waiting for communication, perhaps a job offer and now you are waiting but something here feels vague. Maybe you don't know if you'll be accepted or not. I see hesitation from your part. Like you are not 100% sure what you want. You are just slowing down and going about your day nothing much. I see that others in this pile have gone through a lot of things, someone here had to stand out in the face of a fire sign female in your family. I see that you put boundaries with her because she just annoyed you. Others here are being manipulated by someone, I see that this person is not saying the whole truth. Or maybe you are the one who is fooling yourself to avoid the transformation. I see that you want to move on and embrace the shift but something is holding you back. It feels like the lyric from Lana's song "I want to leave, probably I'll stay another year" you want the shift but some things here are being hidden from you. Or tbh being ignored by you. I see that if you are waiting for communication you'll likely receive a very positive response but the thing that you aimed for won't come easily. Let's see your placements:

Sagittarius, Virgo, Gemini, Cancer. Saturn, Venus, moon dominant. Your sun or moon in the 9th, 6th, 3rd, 4th house in your chart.

☆ Who?

This person is working in a field that requires collaboration, perhaps working within a community. I don't see that they are super independent in their job; I see that they are a part of something, a project or collaboration. I see also that this person is overthinker, they thinks a lot and tend to be indecisive about their path. I see that they might got into their work as something that one day will be left by them but they got stuck and now this person doesn't want to leave because they are indecisive. This person at first seems very cold, structured and emotionally distant but once they warm up to you they are literally the sweetest baby ever. I see someone that is balanced emotionally. Have you talked to them online? Because what I'm getting is that this person either knows you online OR you'll get to know them online. But I'm getting someone familiar, like you may have came across their account, liked a post or something and they replied to you or the opposite thing happened. I see that this person tend to manipulate others but not for negative or ill intentions, they might do this unintentionally which make others run away from them. This person have a very strong moral code, their morals are as strong as rocks. Also, I see that they are quite fair and balanced. They give off libra energy. This person is very balanced in the way they talk and take action. They'll be very loyal to you and won't cheat on you. I'm getting IXFJ vibe so they might be an INFJ or ISFJ. This relationship might start out as friendship or something platonic and it'll progress into something very peaceful. What really shocking me is how much this person had faced difficulties and all of them are related to their work. So maybe their work environment is hard or they are very uncomfortable in their work? Maybe. Now let's see their placements:

Capricorn, Gemini, Scorpio, Libra. And for a very little group here this person is Aquarius. They might have venus or sun in Scorpio, Gemini placements or dominant in their chart. They might have sun or moon in the 10th, 3rd, 8th, 7th and 11th house.

☆ Appearance?

Okay, I see that this person look very tired or defeated. I see that their posture look droppy. A little hunch in their back but nothing too serious. Their posture just doesn't look very straight. Also, This person is literally or metaphorically have larger-than-life appearance. They might have prominent forehead and sharp eyes or jawline. I see also that they look very childish or younger than their actual age. I see that their smile is very beautiful and they look charming. This person is literally so graceful especially in the way they dress. I see also that they look like a book lover or a nerd. I see that this person is very confident in their physical appearance and is not really into trendy stuff, but I see a hint of showing off their style. They like to show off and brag about what they have which make people very envious of them. This person's hair is weavy or curly. I'm not seeing anything straight to be honest. Their hair is brown with blonde hues to it. This person look stable especially in the way they walk. I see that people just fall for the way they carry themselves. Elegantly; what I'm seeing. This person is very polite, they don't like to raise their voice. Round or soft features with sharp eyes or almond eyes. Their height is average not too tall or short. This person is known by a lot of people, I started smelling onion omg (no its not their scent it may be that they love eating green fresh onion) this is strange lol. Also, they are very fit but not sporty. Someone who work out to stay fit but not overly mascular or yk not typical gym bro/ girl vibe. They may have deep voice? In the case of a male they have a deep satisfying voice. Also, you'll meet this person very soon, they might reach out or communicate with you. That's all I have for you pile 1, I hope you meet them one day💕.

Pile 2 - Venus

Your current energy:

(This is a general energy check; take what resonates and leave what doesn't and if you feel like my energy check doesn't resonates with you then skip to the reading directly. Thank you for reading this note🤍 let's get into it). So, I'm picking up on a couple of energies here. First I see that there's someone here who might have been trying to have a child or have infertility issues, someone here is young and infertile I see that you might indeed succeed to have a baby but you need to stay resilient. Other's here are being so hard on themselves, someone here is trying to be more healthy but they do not know how to start and where. I see also that for the rest of you there's a settle down with a lover or a partner. If you are looking for a sign to settle down with your current partner then that's your sign. I see also that for my single people that love is within reach. I got the cards of love and luck. Someone will be in your life soon and you'll settle with them in a house together. I see also that there's someone here who is being indecisive about a project and you might want to see if the people you are working with are worthy of trust or not. Now, for others there's someone who has a crush on you and you are not even aware of lol. Now let's see your placements: (take it as extra confirmation)

Leo, Taurus, sagittarius, Cancer, Libra, Capricorn. Also we have saturn, Jupiter, Venus, moon dominant in your chart. Sun or moon in the 5th, 2nd, 9th, 4th, 7th, 10th house in your chart. Also, I feel a strong moon in sagittarius, Venus in taurus, Saturn in libra and sun in taurus.

☆Who?

Okay, first thing I'm picking up on is that this person look demanding and confident. Someone with a strong masculine energy; even if this is a girl here; she doesn't fuck around, girl boss vibe and if this is a man, this person is very strong and assertive. I got 3 pages for you so I guess this person is not that old they might be in high school or college. And even if they are not in those then they have a strong young vibe. This person is very curious about you, I see that they might be looking for you. This person's energy is very familiar like you know them. And no this is not an Ex so please get it out of your head. Anyways; you know this person and if you know no one then keep reading about the personality. They are looking for you, If you are not attending classes then they are realizing that you are not there anymore. Idk why I typed the previous paragraph but let's get to their personality. I see that this person may have everything you dream of in a person. This person have a sharp mind and an optimistic personality. They are very smart and rich btw. I see that they have their own business or they are working on their own life right now. Someone who is still young, doesn't have resources and they still take money from their family lol. And if they are not then they just have inherited the money from the family which make them wealthy. Anyways, this person is curious about where did you disappear and want to communicate with you. I see a written letter or text from them, but they are very conflicted whether to send it or not. I see that this person has been very loyal to you and want to work with you and spoil you. I'm not sure about thir intentions but this person is thinking of you sensually. They crave you? Yes they do. Let's get back to their personality (mf each time I try to talk about their personality they bring me back to what they want from you aghhh). Anyways; this person is very demure lol, I keep laughing they are a jester, they like to make fun or things and make people laugh. I felt the urge to laugh about their silliness. This person is silly too and have the best inner jokes. Also, they are quite adventurous and come from a very respected and high class family. Let's get to their placements:

Aries, Aquarius, sagittarius, virgo, Capricorn, Taurus, Pisces. Mars, Saturn, mercury dominant in their chart. 1st, 11th, 9th, 6th, 10th, 2nd, 12th house placements in their chart or their moon and sun is these houses.

☆ Appearance:

We got a lot of cups so, this person has a fair almost pale skin, bluish green eyes, and light brown hair. This person's look might not be what you usually go for in a guy. Also for others here this person has a black weavy hair with tan kissed skin. This person(the first one) is a little overweight but they are in a good health. They might be working out and they have a strong biceps. For the second one their physique is tall and strong, good health but they look so HOT omg. For the first one (the pale guy or girl) they are quite attractive and beautiful. Someone here is hot (the tall, tan person) and the other (pale guy or girl) is attractive and beautiful. There's a note here; you might be feeling disappointed because you haven't met your person yet but the universe want you to know that no matter how far or ambiguous it looks right now it is within reach for you. A soulmate connection, that is within the reach. Thank you for reading and sorry because this one kind of short. Lots of love and peace💕🙏🏼.

Pile 3 - Kiss marks

Your current energy:

Hey pile 3, how are you? I hope you are doing well. Okay let's get into the energy check but first I'll leave a note here *** This is a general energy check so if you feel like none of it resonated with you then skip to the next portion of the reading. And if it did resonate then take it asa confirmation***. I do a tailored readings so feel free to check my Masterlist for this month's offer.

Okay, wow this is a mixed bag here. I see many energies in this pile. People here are trying to work on their self-esteem. Other's are trying to get over a friendship fallout. And someone people here actually dating someone that you meet through friends. I see other's here are thinking about money and how to maximize their earrings which is quite good because it'll happen to you. Also, some people here are doing charity or social work. I see that for thus group within this pile you'll get a gift or a certificate because of your hard work and dedication. Some people here are attached to a long-term relationship that they invested in emotionally while other's are trying to fix that relationship. I see someone here who is attached to someone else and the relationship in a courtship state with a lover I see that people in your family are not approving your relationship with your person. Someone here are trying to heal from a past ex who caused them a lot of pain and confusion. Maybe they were a narcissist that's what the cards are showing me. Okay, another thing I see is that someone here was in a long-term relationship that was so serious but something here was off so you had to break the engagement because the groom or the person who was with you was in fact an abusive person. This person might have afforded material things to you or was financially very comfortable or have money but you broke it with them because their actions was so abusive towards you. Now you are trying to heal and move on with your life. That's what I'm seeing. I hope I didn't trigger anyone with this. I'm so sorry for whoever going through this, you are strong and worthy of good things dear💕.

Placements for you:

Aries, Leo, Scorpio, Gemini, Virgo, Aquarius. Dominant planets in Venus, Jupiter, Mercury and Mars. Sun or moon in the 1st, 5th, 8th, 3rd, 6th, 11th house in your chart.

☆ Who?

Okay, I see that this person is very chill and fair. They don't like to see injustice or other people bullying or hating on one another. They are very much calm and collected. A little bit extroverted, they have lots of friends but they don't really reveal themselves to other's quickly. They take their time to get to know people. They might had a very difficult period with insomnia but they have healed from it rn. I see that their mental health got better and they went to psychiatrist or healed by themselves. I see that this person tend to ignore their own self to help other people. They are slow and steady, they talk slowly, calmly and they enjoy finer things. They might have father issues, because I see that they had a very difficult father. Their father was strict and sharp. Their father had a tendency to compete with them or compared them constantly to someone else. I see also that you manifested this person lol. I asked how will you meet them, the answer was all of sudden and you'll be the one who manifested them into your life. I see also that you might meet them through a male friend or someone with masculine energy or they will be the one who talk to you. This person is someone you dreamed, prayed and hoped that you meet. I see that this person is someone who had gone through a lot of transformation, especially their social circle. They might used to talk or befriend anyone which affected their mental health and self-esteem terribly. Now their placements:

Libra, Pisces, Gemini, Taurus, virgo, Cancer, Dominant planets in Venus, Jupiter, Mercury, moon. Sun or moon in the 7th, 12th, 3rd, 2nd, 6th, 4th house in their chart.

☆ Physical appearance:

This person might have a calm and reflective nature, with a soft or ethereal appearance, perhaps with pale skin. They could give off a dreamy, mysterious vibe, and there's likely an intellectual edge to their look, maybe wearing glasses or dressing in a more thoughtful, reserved style. Physically, they could be athletic and toned, with a sharp or defined build. They likely have radiant skin, maybe tanned or glowing, and carry an energetic, positive charisma that draws people in. Their presence would be youthful, with a playful and charming demeanor, possibly accentuated by an engaging smile and an easy, carefree attitude. Based on the overall vibe, this person is likely of average to above-average height, as they carry a balanced presence, radiant yet grounded. Their physique would likely be toned and athletic, with a strong build that shows energy and movement. While they might not be overly muscular, they would have a defined, active appearance that reflects both physical and intellectual vitality. Their energy is noticeable, and they might carry themselves with a sense of confidence and vitality that complements their more reflective and intellectual sides.

Pile 4 - Aphrodite smile

Your current energy:

Hello pile 4, I hope you are doing well🤍. I'll put a note here before starting your reading *** This is a general energy check, so please take what resonates and leave what doesn't. Also, if you feel like the energy check doesn't resonate with you skip to the next portion you don't have to continue***.

Okay, I felt like I'm on a cruise, I feel the waves up and down, like this feeling you get when you are on the board of a ship or cruise. But anyways; also this pile is definitely not for singles most of the energies I'm getting are for people who are already in a relationship or at least dating and want to know if the person you are with is serious or not. I got it hon, you want that person but since this is a general reading I have more tailored one for you, check this month's offer and I'll be more than glade to guide you. Okay, I see that you have a strong emotional connection to a romantic partner. This person make your heart beat so fast. I see that this relationship is a harmonious one which is so nice and peaceful but don't let possessiveness and self doubt to destroy the relationship. People within this pile have self destructive tendencies, like you don't believe that something good is going to happen for you which unfortunately sabotage possible romantic connection that might develop with time. I see that you are thinking here of two things 1) to develop and take things seriously + further; to commitment. 2) end things that might be potential for your growth. Please chose wisely, because the person you are with is definitely a soulmate. I don't see any unhealthy patterns here at all (pls use your own discernment this is a general reading). Even the person you are with appears to be confident, have a very high self-esteem and generous. I see that this relationship have endured many challenges but it kept on because you guys are with each other and love one another. Placements for you:

Sagittarius, Gemini, Capricorn, Leo, Cancer, dominant planets in your chart: moon, Mercury, Saturn, jupiter. Your sun or moon in the 9th, 3rd, 10th, 5th, 4th house.

☆Who?

(Note that this reading for my single people and if you are reading it for someone you are already with it might not resonate with you so use your own discernment okay?).

Well, this is someone you don't really want to know. Their energy is not so good actually. I'll guide you to know how you'll prevent this from happening so take this reading as guidance on how to ignore and not take them seriously. Anyways, this person is lazy, have no ambition and doesn't know how to invest long-term. They lack foresight and imagination. They are someone who is chronically lier. They show personality that is not them. There's a car started to peep under my window so take it as a warning, I screamed okay I got it and the peeping stopped so ig those are your spirit guides warning you from them. Let's continue, this person knows how to manipulate others emotionally, they know how to flip tables and probably they'll put you as an option and won't really give you what you hope for. This person has a very poor attitude towards women or females, they like to treat other's as objects. They look at someone but instead of seeing long-term future they see what they can get from you. Don't try to chase them, if they show you poor attitude or manipulation you can turn around and leave. Don't try to prove they are wrong, don't try to prove to them that you are worthy because their brain is not designed to see worthiness. They only see what they can get. Can be harsh and aggressive sometimes, they might even curse or not use safe words at all. How will meet them? I see that you'll be the one who meet them first or a significant female in your life will set you up with them. I see that if the first scenario doesn't happen; you might know them while you are dealing or communicating with someone about stolen things and this person will get in to attempt and help you. That's what I'm seeing. Now for their placements:

Virgo, Taurus, Pisces, Gemini, Cancer, dominant planets in moon, Saturn and Mars. Sun or moon in the 6th, 2nd, 12th, 3rd, 4th house in their chart.

☆ Physical appearance:

Okay I see that this person have soft, striking eyes that draw attention, with a gentle and calm gaze. Their eye color might be light, such as hazel, green, blue, or gray. Their hair is dark, possibly black or deep brown, and smooth in texture sleek, straight, or neatly styled. They are of average to tall height, with a solid and well-proportioned build, perhaps broad-shouldered or sturdy in appearance. Their features are refined, with a sharp, defined jawline or cheekbones, giving them an air of elegance and grace. Overall, they have a balanced combination of strength and refinement, exuding a calm yet engaging presence. That's all I have for you pile 4, take care and be gentle with yourself 💕 and sorry if I triggered you or anything and remember that this is only a possibility in the near future and not something that might definitely happen for you🤍.

Post date:27th of Jan - 2025 Mon

* Feedback is appreciated*

[miange1]

could you do an older man and male reader who's nervous around him because he's got daddy issues?

definitely sex after :3

PUT ME IN A MOVIE — drabble

pairing: older character insert x younger male reader

tw: male reader, age gaps, daddy issues, "lana" mindset, daddy kink, slight feminization, reader is described to be smooth and soft, kinks stemming from trauma(kinks as in a daddy kink don't be weird), fantasies, constant teasing

note: wanted to off myself writing daddy. for the plot tho fr. reminder, i NEVER proofread.

older man, who had no clue why you acted this way around him. always so fidgety, never looking him in the eye, late responses, the stuttering. the stuttering really got on his nerves, give him a damn straight answer.

older man, who was much more perceptive over you as time passed. he would try to ask you what the matter was, but you'd brush it off and instantly change the subject or just plain out left. but he'd see it, he would notice it

older man, who'd see the way you'd look at him. notice the way your breathing seemed to stop or quicken once he got closer, see the way you'd get tense. he could see the way you'd flinch and shake, your face looking like you had a fever, the way you were huffing like you ran a mile.

older man, who'd realize almost too late. he figured it out, and used it to his own advantage. started bumping elbows on "accident" , tiny touches he knew would drive you crazy, making you look him in the eye when you spoke to him. yeah, he loved that part. you looked pathetic, looked like you needed him as a vessel to keep you alive. you looked at him like he healed something inside of you.

older man, who finally had you. or rather to you, you finally had him, but this wouldn't be the case if he hadn't made the first move. cornering you, asking you what the hell was wrong until you confessed. he loved it just as much as you did, and he didn't even think that would happen. you tagged along him all the time, hung onto him and couldn't take your eyes off of him,

older man, who took in every single sound you made like it would come loose from his grasp. taking in the way your body wiggled and arched from his touches and his teases. your skin glistening with sweat, he'd ask if you want a break but no– "daddy please.." you'd beg, trying to push him inside deeper

older man, who'd spoil you till your teeth rotted. getting all them clothes and things you wanted. as long as he could pick something out for you as well. he could dress you up like a pretty little baby doll, getting you all pretty and ready for him whenever he wanted. like you wanted.

older man, who'd only laugh and shake his head when you claimed the outfits were embarrassing. they weren't embarrassing, so stop covering yourself and that pretty body. he'd extended two fingers, telling you to come here so he could get a real good look at you. that skirt that covered nothing, giving him a real good look at that smooth cock that stood and leaked so pretty all for him, all because of him.

older man, who couldn't help himself. you wanted him, and now you had him. and then he had you, twitching and grinding all on him for more. "daddy.." oh, he'd get high off of it. "mhm, daddy's got you."

[northopalshore]

Chiron in the

Midheaven persona chart

The midheaven persona chart is the extension of your natal midheaven placement. Chiron here tells you what is most criticized about you in terms of your public image or professional reputation & what about your public image/career that hurts you the most. Everything here only applies to the MC persona chart. Also shows the healing presence you may carry. Criticism is not always true to your own intentions or nature, but rather correspondent to how you behave in other people's eyes.

Northopalshores' Masterlist| MC persona chart | Union persona chart

Personal observations, do not repost on other platforms without consent ʕ⁠ ⁠•⁠ᴥ⁠•⁠ʔฅ

°0 criticized for being ignorant, having a lack of depth or maturity, enhancing whichever house or sign it's in

In retrograde the problem may often stem from something that you personally did or are insecure about whether you are aware or not. However, I haven't seen much consistent results or differences between retrogrades & non retrogrades. So just take the original meaning. It's just that I know someone will ask about it at some point so I'll write it here to avoid that.

signs, degrees & houses

⚷ Aries (°1,°13,°25) | 1st House

You could be judged for being rude, abrasive, agressive, self centered, egotistical, smug, being a bully or doing things in a brash and inharmonious way (not thinking of other people you may hurt or the consequences of your actions beyond where it's or what is happening). People could say that you lack actual depth or maturity and just doing something for your own benefit (like pushing your brand or agenda, or interest onto other people). People may also find you to be a one trick pony or someone that can't actually do more than that one thing they cling onto desperately.

Ex: Ryan Reynolds has Chiron in Aries °4 Cancer in the 3rd house. Honestly, he has similar placements to Blake which I'll elaborate further as one of the examples. Both of them push their relationship to the frontline a lot & just pushing their brand more than their actual artistic talents. Going for that familiar comedic style that people are now used to expecting from them.

⚷ Taurus (°2,°14,°26) | 2nd House

People are most likely to critique your spending habits, or your lavish lifestyle. People may think of you as vain and overly materialistic to the point that you are out of touch with reality (insensitive to the world or people around you). Having business ethics that are questionable or self-centered. Your beauty standards may also be something that people judge you for; saying that you highlight unrealistic expectations surrounding beauty and live solely to reach or preach it by existing and being proud of yourself (maybe looking down on others as well because of it). Conversely, beauty standards might be the exact thing that causes you pain throughout your career. Either way it's often related to money, business, feminity, beauty or brands.

⚷ Gemini (°3,°15,°27) | 3rd House

You may be critiqued for being self centered, acting like a know-it-all, being mean or having sharp comments, making jokes that do not fit the situation (insensitive). People will judge you for your voice and your beliefs, your writing and your skills questioning your overall capabilities & what you know. You could be criticized for public statements or your claims and rights as well. You may be afraid that people will dig too much into the words that you say or use them against you at some point. You may be rather insecure about your thoughts and perspectives at times as well.

Ex: Lana Del Rey has Chiron retrograde in Gemini ° 14 Taurus. I remember reading people's opinions on public forums about her earlier performances saying she wasn't particularly a remarkable singer. Also there was that thing about her vocalizing other people's opinions about her songs and aesthetics seemingly romanticizing ab*se and narcotics (unhealthy relationships, grooming yk the works) then her pointing out other female artists songs that depict cheating & etc. However, it's undeniable how impactful her aesthetic & music has been in the industry. Many of her fans resonate deeply with both those aspects of her.

⚷ Cancer (°4,°16,°28) | 4th House

Your career may be influenced by your familial relationships, either from accusations of nepotism or getting everything easily due to your close relationships and being related to someone who already had some sort of leverage. People may say that you are heartless to some degree (or on the opposite end; too attached or have attachment issues). Also, your home life may take a jab due to your public image or desire to be someone important (spending more time at work or polishing your image compared to being with your family). You may have had to struggle with your work and public image much earlier than others (working or being exposed to the public life from an early age).

Ex: Beyoncé ( natal Aries rising) has Chiron retrograde in Taurus °18 Virgo in the 4th house. Her dad was her manager and was the one that helped search for record deals (with Girls Tyme aka Destiny's Child) which people say explain the bias around her when she was in the group. Her luxurious lifestyle & crazy work ethic tend to hurt both her (health wise) and people around her (she's known to overwork & underpay her employees). Now, she literally works with her husband & children too. I can't say I know what her home life is like but it's not easy that's for sure. Plus, that means she has been working her ass off ever since childhood.

⚷ Leo (°5,°17,°29) | 5th House

People may criticize you for your expressive or dramatic nature or overly positive personality. People may think you crave attention & gloss over things too often (making light of serious matters as well). People may dislike how quickly you gain attention or how everything is a game or entertainment for you. People questioning why others like you so much. You could be called unserious as well. People may dislike how loud or how much of an oversharer you are which could contribute to people thinking you are insufferable. Your flighty love life & overtly sexual energy could be a topic of interesting amongst them too ( being a topic to critique you for). It may be difficult for you to share things about yourself or feel like you have to act more interesting than you really are to compensate for how boring people may find you without that extra layer or "fun".

Ex: Cardi B, Lisa, Miley Cyrus & Gypsy Rose all have Leo influences with their MC PC Chiron. All four of them were criticized for being too expressive or dramatic and questioned their skyrocketing (at the time they gained that popularity in the first place) popularity. Also, their sexuality has been remarked as "too much" from fans and haters alike.

⚷ Virgo (°6,°18) | 6th House

Your lifestyle, your work ethic, almost everything about you here is put to the test. This placement honestly makes people criticize you from the things you do, food you eat, your attitude, your environment, your talents, how you work, your inspirations; everything seems to be judged in one way or another. It's like one they've exhausted one issue they're on to the next thing about you that either rubs them the wrong way or is literally problematic. Alternatively, you could feel like what you do is never enough and are your own worst critic . People may also find healing or comfort through your work itself.

⚷ Libra (°7,°19) | 7th House

Your looks, partnerships, your spouse, your lovers, are usually what causes your public image to go under public skepticism and judgement. People may questions you due to your connections or down play your efforts due to your "upper hand", especially if you are connected to anyone important or significant in whatever context that your public image applies to (whether work, or what people around your neighborhood says about you). People may think that what you have is unfair or maybe compare you with your partner & their lives or history seeing you as either lackluster or bland in comparison (or vice versa). People may also find you shallow or superficial.

⚷ Scorpio (°8,°20) | 8th House

People may call you a manipulative person, with a lack of morality or distain towards other people. A liar, trauma dumper, or an overall toxic person. People may find you to be contradicting (which leads to distrust). Some people may over sexualize you as well or think that part of you is "too much" or unbearable. People may hate your guts for no reason too (but it's likely out of jealousy). Any changes surrounding your career may also be scrutinized saying that you "change for the worst". People's obsession with you or the constant invasion of your privacy may be an awful backflash following your career or public image. You may be paranoid that someone somewhere is just watching your every move, just judging you (and they likely are). People's attachment to you and strong feelings (whether positive or negative) is what hurts your image the most depending on other placements. Also, people may criticize you for not having a consistent identity or public presence. People just expect too much from you.

⚷ Sagittarius (°9,°21) | 9th House

You could receive hate or backlash for cultural appropriation, r*cism, personal beliefs or world view & philosophy, political views, and even your unconventional way of life. Your lack of morality or views surrounding activism may also fall under public scrutiny. You may be seen as a "bad influence" to a lot of conservative people. Conversely, you yourself may be awfully rigid or and conservative, pushing your beliefs onto other people that do not necessarily agree with your ideals. People may say your are a one note character too either doing too much or too little to prove yourself. People may say you are rather "tone deaf" with your opinions. People may also call you ungrateful & lazy. People's opinions and thoughts about you hurt deeply. You may hold a lot of your thoughts, act ignorant or downplay yourself due to that.

Ex: Blake Lively has Chiron° 25 conjunct Venus°21 & Groom°21 in Gemini in the 10th house. She is definitely a fitting controversial figure. She is criticized for a lot of things, from being a bully to being fake and even r*cist (because they literally got married at a plantation amongst all things). Is she just trying to be her Gossip Girl character or was she not acting when she played Serena. She also seems to imitate her husband's humor and brings him up numerous times like it's a required statement. There's honestly a lot to say about her but I won't elaborate further.

Brigitte Bardot has Chiron in Taurus ° 9 Sagittarius in the 2nd house & Jennie has Chiron in Libra °16 Cancer the 9th house. Both are criticized for their "I don't care" attitude, their mentality, their dismissive or laziness, expensive taste and relationships. Jennie also started being perceived (or working in the industry or something relative to it from a young age) and thus has gone through much pain or insecurities at an early age.

⚷ Capricorn (°10,°22) | 10th House

Criticism often comes from people with a higher status than you like your employer or a senior executive at work, someone that has more experience than you or even just people that assume they have authority over you. You could be criticized for your work ethic the most or even how people view you or you view yourself. You may get criticized because people think other people deserve what you have or your position more than you even if you did work yourself up to where you are /will be in the future. Your work itself is also something that may go through a lot of backlash. Also, people may think of your brand or personality as something made (manufactured) to be marketable and not a reflection of who you are.

⚷ Aquarius (°11,°23) | 11th House

You may be criticized for favoritism, accusations of having"main character complex", being unresponsive to (shutting out) other people outside of your circle or your world, being the noticable odd person out. Thinking too highly of yourself or being the spotlight stealer. People may also criticize you for either being overly altruistic (up your own ass) or oppositely; being incredibly dismissive about other people in your community. This hate may come from peers or "friends" and most of all netizens if your job or public life involves the internet. It may be hard for you to share what you like because of how "out there" your ideas can be fearing that no one will understand where you're coming from. In some cases your peers may be your worst enemies (especially if Chiron is in the 11th house).

Ex: Michael Jackson has Chiron in Aquarius °18 Virgo in the 7th house. His career has effected his entire life, from his childhood to his relationships and even his personal actions. He was nicknamed Wacko Jacko for his capricious and strange personality.

⚷ Pisces (°12,°24) | 12th House

You may be criticized for playing victim or acting/being oblivious to certain things. Lack of transparency, leniency. For some, even citizenship may be questionable. Being manipulative, and fishing for pity or willingly letting go of control over yourself for some reason. You may also be under the control of people that may effect your public image. People may not understand your vision or your true intentions, making you feel discouraged or even invisible to a greater audience. You may be overshadowed by the work of people around you for example. People may also view you as someone that's easy to walkover due to that feeling of incompetence you hold.

Ex: Taylor Swift has Chiron in Cancer °24 Pisces in the 10th house. She's most criticized for playing victim & standing by her altruistic tendencies. This was most prominently showcased during the Kanye incident & the "Snake" backlash. Man, that was wild. Also, she was literally interrupted by Kanye because he thought she didn't deserve her VMA award.

Aspects (Conjunctions only)

⚷ Chiron conjunct 11th house

People may criticize you for your choice of friendships or the people you choose to surround yourself with. Your friends themselves may be the issue at times.

Ex Taylor Swift's Chiron conjuncts her 11th house. She gain quite a lot of backlash for her "Squad" as people thought it had a lot to do with exclusivity & elitism (since everyone in it was quite famous and influential at the time). Also, it's notable that most her friends had controversy of their own at one point or another (then or in the future). Blake being one of those friends. She is also deeply involved with her friends however, providing them a safe place to share & heal with her and vice versa like her friendship with Selena Gomez.

⚷ Chiron conjunct Descendant

People may call you a homewrecker (especially if Chiron is not in the 7th house, just conjuncting it), or be criticized for your choice of partners (whether romantic, platonic or business related). Your connections and transaction based relationshipa tend to rub people the wrong way (like how you manage it for example will also be dissected).

⚷ Chiron conjunct Briede (19029) or Groom (5129)

Being criticized in relation to your partner. You may feel less noticable compared to your partner or vice versa, people could say that you don't deserve to be their partner or just get criticized for being with them. Either that or it's you as a partner (people may think you are an inadequate as a marriage partner).

⚷ Chiron conjunct North Node

You are criticized for your vision, your ideals and what you believe in the most. People may think that you change too drastically or that you were "better before the change". People may find you too righteous or self entitled as well.

⚷ Chiron conjunct Industria (389)

You will be criticized heavily for your work and what you choose to do professionally. However, it may also be an indicator of having a career that is tiring but at the same time very healing (to both you and other people). Not necessarily related to doctors, could be artist or holistic healers too.

⚷ Chiron conjunct Sun

Scrutiny towards your personality, your ego or your self assertivenes, literally just how you present yourself to others (that may or may not "steamroll" other people). Some may find your optimism or personality to be rather appealing and comforting, while others think of you as inadequate. You may work 2x as hard just to prove yourself worthy.

⚷ Chiron conjunct Moon

Being judged for the way that you feel or portray your emotions. People not understanding your feelings and actions. People may call you immature too. However, those that vibe with you will be deeply attached due to your relatability and aptness at connecting or trauma bonding with other people. It's easy for you to get too attached to something even if it doesn't mean much in hindsight; your genuine feelings may be put to the test.

⚷ Chiron conjunct Mercury

They way you speak or sing or write is very healing to other people, however you may be criticized by the same thing many people may like about that part of you. You may hesitate to talk to share your thoughts because of that. Staying silent at times may be more fruitful in your opinion.

⚷ Chiron conjunct Mars

People may crutize you for your energy (whether the abundance or lack thereof). You may seem "lazy" or "doing too much" depending on other placements. You may feel like you have to doore than other people to prove yourself.

Ex: Wonyoung has this placement, people often says she does too much compared to the rest of the members or literally wherever she is.

⚷ Chiron conjunct Venus

People may condemn you for your love life or for being with your partner/lover, your creativity and your talents. Judging your looks, beauty & aesthetics as well (especially if you have or will go(ne) through some cosmetic procedures). Though people might also say that you "lack beauty" or are not on the level that people in your place would otherwise have based on their assumptions. People that connect with you however, feel that you are a valuable soul that's love transcends almost anything. They may also be deeply attached to your love life or story. You tend to have a "hurt maiden" type of beauty or always look scared on unsure. Your looks or love life may suffer due to your career.

⚷ Chiron conjunct Neptune

People may call you delusional or manipulative. Though people that trust you will see you as someone who is able to foresee more than most people can, seeing you as a healer and genius of sorts when it comes to your talents, beliefs and "life navigation system". Also, you may be rather inconsistent with your presence (hard to get to and find, disappearing more often than being present). Being out of touch with people. Your art is healing, but often receives judgement by people.

⚷ Chiron conjunct Pluto & Saturn

Judged for putting your beliefs or best interest first, for assuming much about yourself or others. People may also dislike you for being a "wet towel" i.e being the person to bring other people to their senses or introduce controversial ideas. People that connect with you will see you inner power and potential to bring light to the darkness; having a greater purpose to push past the karma or hurt. You get a lot of hate just for being there (where public image/career is most relevant to you).

⚷ Eros conjunct Chiron

You may be judged for your sex life or your sex appeal. People may call you a ... hussie or indecent person when it comes to the body and sexuality. People that connect with you will find your energy compelling and even motivational. You may have the ability to heal wounds surrounding s*x or past dreams/desires.

˚₊‧꒰ა paid readings available ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

Arrivederci ♡, thanks for reading. Hope this helps! (support?)

@northopalshore

@northopalshore midheaven persona chart 2025 all rights reserved. Disclaimer.

[plutoasteroids]

PAP/ Pac - Is this the year you meet your future spouse? Why or Why Not?

Top right to top left --- > Pile 1, Pile 2, Pile 3

Bottom Left to Bottom Right --- > Pile 4, Pile 5, Pile 6

This reading is allegedly for entertainment purposes only. I am not responsible for any choices made in relation to ANY of my readings!

This is just general if you want one specially for you and your energy, I have a paid readings list below!

Paid Readings List!

PILE 1

No, it's not the right time and there is till work that both you and your future spouse need to do before you both can meet and be together!

The biggest reason being money and career. There needs to be a change of career and a bigger sturdier income from both of you before that. Basically, you need to find the right career for you before it happens.

PILE 2

Congratulations you got a yes!

You have done all the necessary work and healing for you to be able to meet your future spouse. Both of you are at a place where you have done well for yourselves and it's time to let them into your life and it's time for you to enter their life.

PILE 3

Yes! Congrats to youuu!

You are in a position in life financially and emotionally to allow another person i9nt your life without feeling like you owe them anything and without feeling like you need to settle or reduce yourself for another person.

PILE 4

Unfortunately, it's a definite no for you guys.

There is still a lot of learning that needs to be done for you Pile 4. There is still a need of self-exploration, learning about yourself and trying out new things to figure out what's best for you and where your place lies in this weird world.

PILE 5

It's a no for you guys, sorry.

You need to go through another awakening. You still have another tough time ahead of you before you can meet your future spouse. There is a need for you to develop thicker skin and be tougher before you can meet your future spouse. There is a big decision you need to make that will lead to this tough time which will prove necessary for you.

PILE 6

Yes for you!

You have gone through a lot of tough situations, and you have grown from it and came out stronger than ever. You may not have had the best start at life maybe dealing with toxic family but it's time for you to build your own happy home.

[witchthewriter]

𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐂𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐌𝐚𝐜𝐓𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞

⤷ gender neutral, ambiguous race, and any size reader. Requests are open, thank you for reading!

a/n: reader is a civilian

ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ | ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ ᴵᴵ

ESTP

Gryffindor

Chaotic Good / Chaotic Neutral

Pisces Sun, Aries Moon, Sagittarius Rising

𝑺𝑭𝑾🌿

・He is the complete embodiment of 'gruff, rugged, protective, knows what to do at all times.'

・Yes to others he comes off as ... intimidating, dominating, and even a tad controlling. But that's not how you see him. Not anymore. He's different with you.

・And that's because he's yours and you are his.

・So, since capturing his heart. The game as been over.

・There is no one else for either of you.

・And you see a very different person than the public.

・Because this man is your husband. You know he would do absolutely anything for you.

・For a long time, he thought he wasn't worthy of softness. Of a life of peace.

・The things that he's done keep him awake at night, struggling to see himself as anything other than a monster.

・But you're there. And it's as if you are his tether to the light. The warmth. To living.

・You never have to drive yourself anywhere; John MacTavish does it for you.

・He also opens every door for you, keeps a hand on your back when walking through crowds and always puts himself in front of you if there's danger.

・You are so protected. John would never let anything happen to you. And if something did, then he would rage.

・He isn't great with expressing his feelings, but he does things to prove how much he cares:

・Fixing things around the house (even if it's just 'squeaky' he is on that shit)

・You want renovations done? Then baby he's on it

・He also remembers everything you love. Whether it be a tv show, movie or piece of jewellery. That man would buy anything for you.

・Captain MacTavish is a very commanding, confident, and action-oriented man. That doesn't stop around you; you're just able to tell him when enough is enough...

"John, honey, sit down and have some tea. You're doing my head in love."

・The banter between you two is caused because you - sometimes - like being told what to do, while John is so used to barking orders and having them done.

・But it is John who does the laundry (apparently you don't fold the clothes the right way.)

・He's an alright cook; food that fills your belly. That's all that matters when he's on deployment. So it's just what he's used to.

・Loves when you frame photos of the two of you. He always straightens them when he walks by

・Quite affectionate when he wants to be. And he wants to be while he's at home, alone with you.

・Forehead kisses, running his hands through your hair, kisses your knuckles and moving you into his lap

"Yer mine, alrigh'. Fuckin' mine.'

𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔

“Shut Up” x “Make Me”

Cheerful Optimist (honestly, anyone looks cheerful compared to him x Grumpy Asshole (Soap, through and through)

"Being With You Makes Me Better"

𝑷𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆

Healing and Rebuilding Together

Constant Banter

Sun x Moon

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈

Let The Light in by Lana Del Rey

Shrike by Hozier

Sex On Fire by Kings of Leon

𝑁𝑆𝐹𝑊 🔞

・Sex with John, is ... overwhelming, claiming and yet, still reverent. John both feels and shows deep and sincere respect for you, your body, your feels and wants/needs.

・Doesn't want you to ever feel like you can't come to him with ... new ideas or how you want to be handled.

・Loves spending time worshipping your body. Licking every part of you, from your feet to your neck.

・Whispering one word over and over again, "mine, mine, mine."

・MacTavish becomes ... feral.

・Holding you down and playing with you; not even needing to be inside you to bring a climax.

・He's obsessed with your chest. Your nipples and how they're so sensitive. A pinch, a bite, a suck; and you unravel before him. Whining and wiggling.

・And by gods, does he love hearing you beg.

"Please, please Captain! I need you. I - I need your cock."

・When he feels pleasure, the noises he makes are fucking filthy.

・Deep groans, growls, low grunts. And the first time you moaned his name? He growled so deep it made your legs weak.

・His favourite positions are: the mating press, doggy and cowgirl/cowboy.

・And his favourite place to cum is inside you. Filling your body with his essence, cumming over and over again until he can see it seep out of you.

・That's what he like to see.

・Feels a pang of pride everytime your legs are too sore after sex

・Has to smack your ass at least once every day

[thealchemistbae]

If Your Moon Sign Had a Finsta: What It Would Say, Post, and Overshare 🤳

Disclaimer: This post is for entertainment purposes only.

thealchemistbae © do not copy, redistribute, or edit my content.

If you enjoyed this post, you can leave me a tip via PayPal at goddessguapa@gmail.com or via Venmo @goddessguapa. Thank you.

Let's be real...if your Moon sign had a finsta, it would be unhinged, unfiltered, and probably shadow banned by now. The Moon rules your emotions, your moods, your 3AM thoughts...basically, the version of you your group chat kinda knows about but your situationship definitely doesn't. So let's dive into the tea, shall we?

🌕: Aries Moon -> Finsta Bio: "IDGAF but like....i lowkey do"

This moon sign posts gym thirst traps and unhinged rants about how they're "so over it" (they are not over it). Deletes posts just to repost them 3 hours later with a new caption. First to subtweet, last to apologize. Probably posts fight videos for fun.

🌕: Taurus Moon -> Finsta Bio: "Soft life only. I'm unavailable unless you're feeding me."

It's giving aesthetic dinner pics, sleepy selfies, and long captions about their skincare routine as a form of therapy. Might overshare once every retrograde then disappear for weeks. Their finsta feels like a velvet blanket and a warm croissant.

🌕: Gemini Moon -> Finsta Bio: "I change my mind. A lot."

They post memes, conspiracy theories, and flirty thirst traps all in one scroll. You never know what you're getting but it's always a show. Will overshare their drama then ghost mid-story. Loves posting screenshots with zero context like "and this is why I'm unwell."

🌕: Cancer Moon -> Finsta Bio: "I'm fine." (They are not fine.)

Their finsta is 60% crying selfies, 20% Lana Del Rey lyrics, and 20% blurry photos of the ocean. They post love letters to people who will never read them and get nostalgic over things that happened yesterday. You'll cry, they'll cry, it's a vibe.

🌕: Leo Moon -> Finsta Bio: "Main character energy even on my worst day."

Every post looks like it belongs on a moodboard. Their captions? Straight from a movie script. You think it's a thirst trap but really it's them processing childhood wounds through ring light therapy. They love attention but make it ✨emotional✨.

🌕: Virgo Moon -> Finsta Bio: "I have 47 drafts and zero chill."

They post pretty pictures with overly long captions that start like "not me being vulnerable..." and end in a thesis statement. Overshares via infographics. Will cry, journal, then edit a photo dump with healing playlist recs.

🌕: Libra Moon -> Finsta Bio: "Love me, but like, don't look directly at me."

Their finsta is a curated heartbreak museum. Aesthetic breakup posts. Mirror selfies mid-spiral. They're going through it, but make it cute. Passive-aggressive quotes and "I'm just reflecting" captions that are 100% about their ex.

🌕: Scorpio Moon -> Finsta Bio: "Trust issues & immaculate vibes."

They only post when something's really wrong or really hot. Their page is dark, sexy, poetic, and a little scary. Caption: "No one knows the real me." Comment: 56 people claiming they do know the real them. They're watching you watch them.

🌕: Sagittarius Moon -> Finsta Bio: "I said what I said and I'm probably gonna say it again."

They're either posting wild travel pics or rants about life's purpose after one edible. Overshares like it's a sport. Finsta feels like a TED talk with tequila. Unfiltered, chaotic, and accidentally inspiring.

🌕: Capricorn Moon -> Finsta Bio: "Feelings are expensive. Pay up."

Doesn't post often, but when they do, it's emotionally calculated. Soft spoken captions hiding deep rooted boss energy. Finsta looks minimal but holds MAJOR weight. Might drop a single selfie that screams "I'm thriving" but won't explain.

🌕: Aquarius Moon -> Finsta Bio: "Just here to observe the chaos (and stir it).

Posts memes that don't make sense and deep thoughts that slap. You're like "what does this mean?" but also "wait...that's me." Might go on a rant about society then post a pic of a frog in sunglasses. Their finsta is a social experiment.

🌕: Pisces Moon -> Finsta Bio: "Too emotional for this planet."

Their stories are just Spotify lyrics and angel numbers. Posts dreamy selfies with captions like "I dreamt we were together in another life..." and it's about someone they met once. Chaos, compassion, and soft girl spirals. A safe space for crying and creating.

thealchemistbae © do not copy, redistribute, or edit my content.

If you enjoyed this post, you can leave me a tip via PayPal at goddessguapa@gmail.com or via Venmo @goddessguapa. Thank you.

[supernovae-explosion]

𝒲𝒽𝒶𝓉'𝓈 𝓈𝑜 𝓂𝒶𝑔𝒾𝒸𝒶𝓁 𝒶𝒷𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊

I. II. III. .·:¨ Artist | Dividers | Masterlist ¨:·.

Hello! To pick a pile please clear your mind and focus on the images above, whichever one speaks to you the most or you feel the most drawn to, this one is for you! If more than one speaks to you, feel free to read both. Remember to take only what resonates with you 🌠

PILE I.

While tossing the cards I got so tense and shy, your energy is very overwhelming in a good way *shy*. You are a whole package deal my dear~ People regret not interacting with you, they feel like it’s a big missed opportunity for them, you’re very strong and a complex individual. You’re kind of addicting in a way may I say. You may have tendencies to overthink which may result in sleepless nights, but you’re so much more than people see. You have so much energy in you, so much determination, creativity, strength, it’s very impressive. This creativity of yours is so beautiful it blinds people around you, people may underestimate you but you have all the resources to prove them wrong and show the whole world how much you have to offer. “Her minds like a diamond” fits you perfectly, you went through things, maybe you’re doubting yourself subconsciously, but please remember that what that little voice in your mind tells you is not always true, especially when it comes to negativity about yourself. Don’t give up on yourself, you have so much to achieve and you have the power to do so, you just have to make the first steps, even the smallest ones are still steps.

Advice: Believe in yourself, universe is working with you, not against you. Let go of all burdens that heave on you, with that you’ll find a solution. The tides have changed, universe is on your side and it’s time for prosperity.

Songs: Motive by Ariana Grande, Doja Cat | Carmen by Lana Del Rey

PILE II.

I got very melancholic while tossing, Joji in the background didn’t help to elate this atmosphere either. You are a patient person, but it seems like you may have some escapism tendencies which result in you beginning anew each time things don’t go the way you would like them to go. You reinvent yourself each single time just to run away from situations that do not favor you anymore, you know what you want and when situation is not good for you anymore. But still you are patient each single time it happens, thinking things maybe will change but like everything in this life you have your limits. The only thing is that you do not fight against these situations, you run away blinded by emotions and your past experiences which left bitter taste. You’re very generous with what you give people around you, you help and try your best but it doesn’t help YOU. You’re very comforting, compassionate, loving and I feel very safe in the energy I’m reading right now. You deserve better, that’s what I’m hearing. This compassion you have is magical, you really are special and I wish you will find people who will notice that.

Advice: You went through a lot, be delicate with yourself, give yourself some time to heal. It’s time to detox from all toxic energies in your life. Instead of worrying about others, use your strength and take control of your life.

Songs: Slow Dancing in the dark by Joji | Moment by Vierre Cloud

PILE III.

You are a natural born leader. There is so much fire energy in this reading, if you have some fire signs (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius) in your astrology chart, then this for sure is for you. You’re so energetic and open, a lot of extroverted energy is what I’m feeling. But you still have that soft spot in you, that emotional value and adoration. You for sure have many ideas about what you want, in comparison to pile 2 you are a strong fighter, you don’t run away you fight, fight and FIGHT! You have strong ideals, you will put people in their place, but there’s a little bit of that Pisces energy which is helping to smooth out this fiery attitude. You may leave behind things, not notice opportunities and how good some things are in your life, but it’s because you have something greater in mind for yourself. You share your success with others, you are all about the movement and going forward and I’m here for all of that, it’s amazing. I don’t have to say much, I think you already know all of these things about yourself, this Leo energy is pushing through right now. Just remember to take care of and don’t overwork yourself, even though the fire is strong and destructible, without oxygen it’s extinguished.

Advice: Universe is on your side, take advantage of that. Trust yourself and signs around you, they’re guiding you towards your path. Understand the life lessons that you went through to not repeat these mistakes again.

Songs: End of Beginning by Djo | Brutal by Olivia Rodrigo

[cuntyhunty22]

Guilty as sin : chapter 1

Summery : you move home after being gone for years.. you are trying to adjust to life back home after dealing with heartbreak. You didn't know to heal a heart it would take two people who happen to be brothers.

Word count: tbh I'm unsure.. but ITS A LONG ONE. (I should have broke it up part 2 is already almost finished)

This will be multiple parts let me know if you want tagged.

Pairing : Joel!dbf x reader : Tommy x reader

Tags : age gap , SMUT , language, love triangle, cream-pie (be smart about that) , oral:f:receiving, oral:m:receiving , fingering, squirt, daddy use (once) Dom Joel , slight sub Joel . (I am sure I'm missing things but you get it. )

Reader is a mess.. but we love her 🫶🏼

Music recs : guilty as sin : Taylor swift

Francesca : hozier

Love you tonight : Ella Langley

Somebody else : the 1975

Delicate : Taylor swift

Love song : Lana del Rey

For the past three years you have been studying abroad. England, Spain, Norway. Pretty much anywhere you could go to travel and learn you did. Now you are home for the summer...

The sun beams into your childhood bedroom followed by the sound of a lawn mower. You groan into your pillow, still very much jet lagged. You have been trying to get yourself back on to this time schedule. You lay there for a moment before finally giving in and getting up. You throw on a pair of little boxer shorts and a tiny cami then you head downstairs. You pop your headphones in as that's apart of your morning routine. It's always a good day when you start with music. You start a pot of coffee dancing around the kitchen, then you open the refrigerator rummaging through looking for coffee creamer. Your dad prefers his coffee black but he always has some stashed for you. Your favorite, French vanilla. You're practically bent over in the fridge searching when you finally find it. You back up quickly running your back into what felt like a brick wall. Strong Hands touch your waist just to push you forward. You spin around to see your dad's best friend standing there... Joel miller.

"Mornin kiddo how are ya."

You still have your headphones in as you stare at him bewildered. embarrassed.. kind off.

"Huh sorry.. was listening to music."

You crack a smile. He stands in front of you, a few feet taller. That teeshirt hugging him just right. Tan skin, dark brown eyes....

You snap out of it realizing you were staring.

"You kids and your technology. I asked how are ya..?"Joel scoffs annoyed that you weren't paying attention. He's always been kind of a grumpy man.

"Jet lagged, I made coffee if you want some." You gesture to the coffee pot In the corner like he hasn't been in Your house a billion times. You dont know what's gotten into you but he's making you nervous. He looks different... a good different.

Your dad enters the kitchen sitting down at the kitchen table.

"Morning honey, I see Joel came in and said hello. Told him earlier you were home... Oh you made coffee! Wonderful."Your dad smiles ear to ear.

He has really missed you. As of now his house is completely empty. You have been abroad and your baby sister has moved to teach less fortunate children.

"He did, and yeah couldn't relax between the bright sun and the loud ass lawn mower..." you let out a yawn.

You peek over to see Joel looking at you.. your legs mainly. Afraid you caught him, his head snaps in the opposite direction.

"Ah yeah sorry honey should have thought about that. Supposed to get super hot today so Joel and I here, were trying to get some yard work finished before it's unbearable out."Your dad sipping on his coffee, scrolling through his phone.. on espn probably.

"I have to go to aunt dollys wedding rehearsal later anyway.. and the pre wedding party is tonight. Thought about hitting the mall for some clothes."

Joel still standing leaning up against the counter.

"Joel you gotta go to that too dontcha? you're like Randy's best man.?"

You look at him waiting for him to respond to you.

"Yeah I'll be there."

His grip on the coffee cup tightens as you walk past him to sit down at the table.

"Joel could you drive her? I gotta go pick up her sister from the airport would be just easier." Your dad asks.

You look over at him, your eyes glisten in the sun. Joel has driven you places tons of times. Between movies with Sarah his daughter or high school football games when he'd scare the boys away.

Sarah and you are about 4 years apart.

"Yeah- yeah uh I can. S'not a problem." Joel shrugs.

"Lovely we can catch up. Dad I'm gonna try to nap, respond to a few emails, see you later.. love you."

You kiss your dad's head, leaving Joel with a smile before grabbing your cup of coffee and heading to your bedroom.

•

Once you are upstairs you lay there for a moment. Images of Joel flood your brain... the stubble on his face, his strong features, the slight grey patches in his beard and hair. You roll over groaning not knowing why this is why you are thinking about. You blame it on jet lag. You pop open your laptop, doing your daily scroll. There is something you have been avoiding but you gave in. You typed in your exs name..

He was one of the reasons you even moved abroad. You had met him here in college. You fell in love and he convinced you to move to England. Things were great they really were, but you both just became busy with life. Eventually you agreed to take time away.. that's been about 10 months now. You guess he's been dating someone but you haven't spoken to one another. Just some things you have heard. You have really just been focusing on yourself.

His profile popped up.. he's currently on vacation in Greece (a place he has always promised to take you )

You click through the posted pictures and there is one of your old roommate from London.. Then it hits you.. that's why you havent heard from her.. why she has ghosted you.

That's who he has been dating.

You scoff

"fuckin asshat." You mumble to yourself.

You slam the laptop shut. Pop your head phones in, and shut your eyes... you relax a bit.. dozing off..

"Oh Joel.. yess right there.."

Joel has your tiny boxer shorts pulled down, as you are bent over on the kitchen table nails digging into the wood as he fucks you.. he fucks you hard.. harder than your ex ever did..

"You look so pretty taking my cock darlin' "

"I'm gonna -"

You shoot up from your bed, shaking.

You look around realizing you fell asleep. Then you realized what you were dreaming about. Your core aching from some fucked up joke your unconscious mind was playing on you. You absolutely can not be horny for your dad's best friend.

But what if you were...

•

You try to shake off the feelings or whatever the hell was going on in your brain. Trying to run from that, your focus has now become on your ex. Honestly it fucking hurts. You didn't know if you even wanted your ex back but it was the point of being lied to. Being ghosted by someone you called a friend, and even more so your ex always swore to be your friend above everything else.

You decided to skip the mall and just wear something you already had. You knew you wanted something to show off your legs because as hard as you were trying to ignore whatever what was going on you couldn't.

You picked out a cream lace baby doll dress, paired with some cowboy boots. You curled your long hair, makeup pretty natural but glowy, paired with some Glossy lips.

It was about 4:30 now, the rehearsal is at 5:30. If you know Joel miller.. you know he's gonna be early.

•

4:45 his truck pulls up with a honk. You make your way outside, Joel hops out to open your door. This wasn't a new thing it was just how he was.. how he always has been.. but for some reason today it hit a bit different.

"Thanks Joel, you don't have too I can get it." You give him a smile.

"Absolutely not darlin, it's a man's thing to do.. what boys over there have no manners? " He lets out a cocky chuckle

You couldn't tell if he was being an asshole or actually just joking trying to start a conversation. You didn't respond because honestly it wasn't something you wanted to talk about. You stayed quiet for the first few minutes of the drive. Joel could tell something was wrong.

"You gonna talk darlin, or we just gonna sit In silence.. you act like I'm some stranger."

He looks over at you, his side profile being illuminated by the golden hour light. Those thoughts from earlier creep in. His eyes trail over you, from your eyes, down your body, like he's taking in every part of you.

"Yeah sorry. Um just tired is all..."

"You've always been a terrible liar you know that.." he looks over at you.

"I have not." You roll your eyes.

"You have, I knew you were lying when you took Sarah to those house parties and I had to come get you... when you snuck to Dallas to see some boy.. when I also had to rescue you because you said you were staying at my house and you didn't want your ol man finding out."

"Sounds like you are sayin you have a habit of saving me.." you scoff.

He just looks at you like he's trying to figure out if he's looking at the girl he's watched grow up, or the woman that she now is. Just like that you arrive to the venue. Joel comes around letting you out, he grabs your hand to help you hop out of his truck. Just the touch of his hand sends shockwaves to your body.

His big rough calloused hands, how tiny yours looked next to his. Joel and you walk side by side into the building. You are greeted with hugs and hellos from people you haven't seen in years. As you are doing your mingling you can't help but watch Joel. How easily his presence is known, how cool and collected he always has been, and there it is.. that look to you. For even just a second that cool and collected fades and you see something else.

You continue mingling waiting for dolly and Randy to get things started. Your Aunt dolly comes running over as soon as she laid eyes on you.

"Oh my darling girl, how are you.. how's London boy." She kisses your cheek.

"Hi auntie, um well-"

You notice Joel is in earshot now.

"Well dolly men across the pond are just as bad as men here." You crack a smile.

"Awww honey you just need a good ol Texas man..like your daddy, Randy or even Joel."

You choke, making yourself cough.

"Sorry tickle In my throat."

You look over at Joel, acting like he's not listening but you think you saw a slight smile.

She brings you in for another hug before going back over to her wedding planner. More people file in, your sister has arrived, Tommy Joel's brother.. and Sheila. Sheila is dollys best friend but she's also had the biggest crush on Joel for years.

•

"Okay everyone, let's get started.. I have each groomsman paired with a bridesmaid.."

Dolly names people off the list.. and you just had this feeling she'd pair Joel with Sheila. Maybe you with Tommy, you two have always been really cool, he's handsome. softer than Joel. Dolly surprisingly does the opposite.

"My darlin.. you are with mr Joel miller here.."

you both look at one another.

Sheila comes over, she's never been your biggest fan. "Honey how about you go with Tommy.. I know yall are close.. he's more your age.. more your speed. Joel clenches his jaw.

You look at her and a laugh slips from your lips.

"Jesus Sheila can't give it up can ya.. no I'm cool with being with Joel thanks though"

You give her a cocky smirk as you link your arm with Joel's.

She glares at you as she stomps away.

"Guess t'was your turn to save me." Joel smiles and you both laugh. You gently pull your arm away from him as you left it linger there for a moment maybe a moment too long.

"Glad to be of service, she sure hasn't changed..."

"Yeah.. but you have.."

Joel looks at you, you cock your head not really knowing what he meant by that.

The wedding music blasts through the building bringing him back to what actually was going on. Rehearsal went well, Joel is your partner for all the wedding duties, walking down the isle, and going into the reception together. For some reason you think maybe just maybe life is trying to tell you something...

•

rehearsal ends.

Everyone is getting ready to head to the local bar for the before wedding party. You were overstimulated by everything so you decided to walk outside and get some air. You walk over by Joel's truck to find Tommy with a flask in hand.

"Hey buddy.. you wanna share.?"

You smile as he brings you into a hug.

"Hey sweetheart.. how's things.. been a long time.."

You take a swig from the flask making you gag...

"Fucking hell Tommy what is that.. but um

Im fine I guess, im back home, dont really know what im doing with my life but ya know.."

You take another swig, handing it back to him.

"Does anyone know what they want to do with life? I went to the army but here I am been back here for a minute now. You got a boyfriend still?" Tommy takes a drink from the flask.

Your eyes get wide choking again , either on that question or the burn of whatever poison Tommy is drinking.

"No ... no I don't Tommy... please don't tell me you're hitting on me..."

Tommy gives you a smirk.. the same smirk Joel has but softer..

"No.. I wasn't trying to.. but I mean.."

He trails off with a laugh

(He definitely was )

"was just checking in on ya sweetheart. your ol man tells us about you, but that's something he wasn't sure about, he was actually kind of worried about you...have you told him?

"Tommy miller giving me an intervention who would have fucking thought ... no.. now pass me the flask." You give him a little punch on the arm.

You take another big swig when you notice Sheila and Joel walking out together.

"Fucking gross..." you gag.

"What the whiskey.. come on girl that's what you grew up on , what the England bloke made you soft..?"

"No that.." your eyes shift over to Joel and Tommy cackles.

"Yeah she won't ever let it go.. pass the flask it's gonna be a long night."

You stand there for a bit with Tommy until Joel comes over. You are already feeling a buzz but you needed it.

"Little brother, you taking care of our girl while I was gone." Joel comes over putting himself between you and Tommy. He looks you up and down the same way he has been doing all day.

"I'm spectacular Mr miller, let's go to the bar..."

Joel looks at the flask,, to you, then to Tommy.

"Jesus Tommy. Seriously."

"Hey don't yell at him. I'm an adult.. I can do what I want and what I wanted was to drink with Tommy so drive me to the bar Joel." You stumble a bit, Joel grabbing your arm helping you into the truck.

Tommy closes the door walking over to his truck. Joel pulls out, he's silent. You shift in your seat to look at him leaning forward on the middle console your face inches away from his.

"What are you doin.." Joel's voice gruff.

"Nothing... just thinking.." you keep staring at him.. you want to touch him so bad.. but you won't... Then suddenly you do..

You run your hand through his curls then down his jaw. His face falling into your touch. Joel lets out a little moan, followed by a cough trying to make it seem like nothing.

"I'm thinkin you shouldn't be drinkin with my brother..."

You laugh at him.

"Why not Joel? I'm not a child. And for fucks sake it was Tommy. What are you jealous?"

(Bingo that's it.)

You scoff annoyed at him. "Don't see me yelling at you for walking out with Sheila. Maybe we should switch then. At least Tommy cares to talk to me about how I am today.. and how I have been.. you just wanna "save me" lecture me. You wanna act like you haven't been looking at me all night, how you just melted under my touch.."

Joel grips the steering wheel.

"Fine we will switch then, and I did try earlier. You been actin weird with me. And don't even start that.. don't put that out there.."

•

Joel parks in the lot for the bar. You don't wait for him to open your door. You hop out and make a bee line for the bar door. You are met with the group consisting of your sister, your dad, Tommy, dolly, Randy, Sheila and some of the rest of the wedding party. Joel trails behind you.

"My beautiful daughter." Your dad hugs you. " Miller you taking care of her.?"

"F'course." Joel looks at you as you walk in to the building. You head straight for the bar, Tommy by your side.

"Tommy I'm getting drunk, you tell your grumpy ass brother to leave me the fuck alone."

"Can't do that sweetheart.. you know Joel."

"Fuck Joel."

Tommy chuckles

(You really wish you could)

•

For the first half of the night it's just conversation with the group. Reminiscing about everything, you tell stories from your time abroad, trying avoiding the topic of London boy. Which eventually comes out, you just state you are separated but are on good terms. No need for all the details. Eventually your dad and sister head out. So does dolly and Randy. So that left you, Tommy, Sheila and Joel.

By this time the bar is packed. People dancing, wall to wall. Tommy has bought your drinks all night, taking shot after shot after shot.

"So you gon tell me what happened? Separation or whatever.. I know you. You ain't ever this quiet."

Tommy touches your hand and you pull away..

"Sorry didn't mean" he looks at you with puppy dog eyes.

You smile.

It is nice to feel wanted, or hell even just paid attention to.

" it's okay.. um.. well here look.."

You show him London boys Facebook. You are now seeing that there is a new post. He and your old friend are now engaged. You explain everything else practically in tears..

"That's a lot darlin, you deserve better. forgive me for being forward I can't help but be curious, but are you interested in anyone else.?" His drawl even more silky with the whiskey he's consumed. You let out a laugh because if anything he's persistent.

"Honestly Tommy.. I'm not sure.. I mean kind of but it's I don't even know. Plus now finding the engagement out.. it's just.. it's a lot.."

You don't know really it's just stolen glances, curiosity and the forbidden line of it. Now adding the underlying emotions of your ex being engaged to someone that's not you.. after years of thinking it would be.

He hands you another shot.

"Think this is needed." His hand on your shoulder massaging it gently.

As you take the shot you notice Sheila hugging up on Joel in the corner. You don't know why this affected you the way it has but you decided to take matters into your own hand. Knowing what you were about to do and how it would play out.

"Tommy. Let's dance"

•

You slam the shot back with ease as Tommy grabs you by the hand leading you into the sea of people. the bass of the music fills your ears. The alcohol fills your veins and rage fills your soul. You wrap your arms around Tommy's neck as you both dance to the beat of the music, his hands carefully trailing down your body as you sway back and forth. You look up and Joel is watching. Eyes dark. jaw locked.

Tommy swings you around your back now against him. His arm wrapped around your waist as you grind on him to the music. You feel the cold of his belt buckle through the sheer lace of your dress his bulge in his jeans stiff on your ass. His hands run through your hair as he lays a gentle kiss on the top of your shoulder making you shiver. The song switches and you decided you needed to use the restroom. You told Tommy you'd meet him back at the bar.

•

You walk down the dark hall way hearing heavy steps echo behind you. You don't look back. You open the door to the single bathroom, as you go to shut the door it was stoped by a boot shoving himself into the bathroom with you.

His big hands to your face, lips crashing to yours in an instant. Hungry kisses that consume one another his tongue invaded your mouth mixing with yours, the taste of cigarettes, mint and whiskey. He shoves your body against the wall hard as His lips trail down your jaw. Trailing down your neck. His hands cupping your breasts through your dress.

"Joel-" you whine.

"Shut up." His breath heavy as His hands reach under your dress, a hard grip on your thigh making you whimper.

"Fuck that sweet little sound." He growls.

"Joel-" you say in a whisper.

"I said shut up, what are you doin. You say that shit in the truck. Messing with my head then you come in here dancin like a whore on Tommy."

You shove him off you. Tears in your eyes.

"How fucking dare you. Do you even know what's wrong with me!? Have you been listening at all tonight Joel.. what happened in England.. that my ex is ENGAGED to my roommate.. now you wanna talk about what was said in the fucking truck.. or the fact that I dreamt about you today. That your the only thing I have thought about since this morning.."

Joel steps back looking you up and down. His jaw clinches as he's trying to find the words to speak. You step forward closing the space between, your hands run through his hair like you did earlier, his hand goes to the back of your neck tilting you up to look at him. His eyes dark and focused as he leans into you . Your lips grazing, his heavy breath shaking.

"This is..." joel trails off, as he plays with a strand of your hair.. "this is playing a dangerous game."

"Shut up and fuck me Mr miller." It was ballsy of you to say but fuck it.

Joel's hands immediately back under your dress. He gently rubs his fingers over the thin material of your panties covering your heat.

"Baby.. these are soaked.." his body pressing against yours, lips right in your ear.

"Yeah-" you throw your head back arching more towards him.

He does this again, but he rubs circles on your clit through your panties soaking them even more. Joel then hooks your panties with his fingers moving them to the side.

He dips one finger into your wetness, letting out a groan as he does. He pulls his finger out sticking it in his mouth sucking off your arousal. You let out a breathy moan watching him do that turning you on even more

"Fuck, you taste good.. tell me something darlin.."

His voice dark and sultry.

"Yeah Joel."

He reaches back down, inserting one finger into your cunt, already tightening on him.

"Who's got you this fucking wet... me.. or my brother...?"

It was filthy.. so fucking filthy.. filthy and forbidden.

"You.." you stifle a scream as Joel thrusts another finger into you.

"Yeah.. you sure baby... seen you grind that ass on him.. his hands on your body..his lips on your shoulder.."

Joel thrusts his fingers faster into you, you're already so close to your climax.

"You.. it's always been you ..ah fuck yes.. I touched myself to the thought of you this morning.. "

Joel freezes.

"You dirty girl.. horny for your old man's best friend.. cumming to the thought of me.. while you toy with my brother.."

he pumps a few more times before pulling his fingers out leaving you empty.

You whimper at the ache that's still there.

Joel kisses down your neck.

"What the fuck Joel." You look at him annoyed.

"You don't get to cum unless I say.. or unless I make you.." he smirks turning walking out of the bathroom. You stand there for a second trying to comprehend what just happened.

•

You go back out into the bar Joel is now standing by Tommy, Sheila there as well.

"There ya are sweetheart thought you got lost or kidnapped." Tommy smiles at you. You look over at Joel, his eyes focused on you and what your response was going to be.

"Yeah sorry just needed a minute." You fidget, not knowing what to do or say now.. because Tommy is great.. he always has been. So sweet so kind. Still rugged. But Joel.. Joel was mysterious, rugged, dominant , something that was deeper than what's on the surface.

Sheila proceeds to move herself between you and Joel, practically shoving you. You had enough of her and her antics. To be honest you were just fucking mad period. Mad at your ex, mad at your old roommate, mad at Joel.. mad you didn't cum on Joel's fingers, mad Joel didn't let you cum..mad that oddly you kinda wanna take Tommy up on his offer.. mad that whatever you are feeling for Joel won't let you try with Tommy. And fucking mad at Sheila for not taking a hint and just being a cunt.

You put your beer on the edge of the bar and "accidentally" spill it on her. She shrieks, looking at you pissed.

"What the hell was that.! Joel look what she did to me!"

Joel and Tommy trying not to laugh.

"Oops sorry maybe you need to learn personal space and that wouldn't happen."

You shrug as She rolls her eyes.

"You really ain't special ya know, you're back here because he broke up with you.. and I see what you're doing here.. she looks back and forth between Tommy and Joel. You are just a whore, like your momma, makes sense why your daddy left her."

Your fists are balled up as you go to step forward when you are pushed back by Tommy and picked up taken out of the bar by Joel..

•

Joel puts you on your two feet outside in the parking lot.

You look at him, tears in your eyes..

"Please don't..." you plead.

He looks at you as Tommy comes out the door, both of them just staring.

"I'm gonna take her home.. she is my responsibility tonight, I'm gonna make sure she gets back." Joel looking at Tommy.

"Sounds good big brother.. see you tomorrow." Tommy and Joel hug.

"Hey.. text me later okay.. if you want to talk anything.." Tommy touches your face wiping away a tear before he brings you into a tight hug. His hands didn't linger, didn't go anywhere they shouldn't have, he just hugged you.

"Okay.. bye Tommy thank you."

"Not a problem sweetheart. Get home safe"

Joel and you walk to his truck.. nothing was said but you could feel his emotions. He opens your door this time you don't argue, you take his hand as he helps you in. He starts the truck and just sits there for a moment.

"She's wrong ya know.. and m'sorry for what I said earlier.. that probably didn't help." Joel shifts his seat turning to look at you. You're fumbling with your fingers something you have always done when you're anxious. You jump when he grabs your hand, holding it tight, his calloused thumb rubbing little circles as He brings it up to his lips laying a soft kiss on it.

"Look at me." Joel's voice low but stern.

"Am I allowed to cry?" You look up at him face covered in your tears.

No hesitation he kisses you, really kisses you. Not the lust filled ones earlier, this one has some feeling behind it. You pull away.

"We can't.. it's too much.. I have too much-"

Ignoring you he kisses you again,

Messy top lip kiss. Pulling you over into the drivers seat putting you right on his lap. Your legs stratal him, his arms wrapped around you pulling you in closer and closer. You feel him under you, you feel yourself throbbing but you knew it wasn't the time nor the place. You give in to him, you let the kisses get deeper. You let him touch every part of you. You needed to feel something. Out of the corner of your eye you see Sheila walking out of the bar. You quickly hop back into the passenger seat, your dress basically falling off, your face flushed. Joel confused until he spots Sheila.

"Take me to your place." You say to Joel.

•

Drive there was quiet, his hand was on your thigh the entire time, occasionally you'd catch him staring at you, and you staring at him. In a way you knew that this was a bad idea, but you also knew it felt too right to not.. but then you had a lingering feeling of Tommy.. how free you felt earlier, how much he cared about you and how you felt. Your thoughts interrupted by your door opening.

"Sarah gone?" You ask.

"Yeah.. she will be back in the mornin for the wedding.."

"Okay."

Joel opens the door, and you are hit with countless memories. Cookouts, game nights, the night when you were 19 when a boy touched you appropriately you when he shouldn't have.. Joel threatening to kill him.. that night you witnessed how much Joel cared for you. Then again when you were 21.. sitting on his couch having a drink, the night you first really seen how attractive Joel was.. the same night he realized you grew up.

"You want comfy clothes, m'sure Sarah has somethin or you can wear somethin of mine.."

The thought of being in Joel's clothes was something you weren't sure you were ready for.. but it was something you now craved..

"A flannel would be nice, maybe some sweat pants."

A few moments later Joel has said things in hand.

"I don't gotta tell ya where the bathroom is. You already know."

You leave him with a smile. Walking down the same hall you have many times but this is different.. You change your clothes leaving your dress hanging on the door. You walk out to the living room Joel sitting there, legs spread, he looks huge. He looks like you want to climb him like a tree. Not saying a word you walk over standing in front of him. Lowering yourself onto him, legs on each side, the same position you were in the truck.

"Hi" you say.

"Hello" Joel's hands on your hips.

You lean into him, you just wanted to feel consumed by him. You rest your head on his shoulder as he tightens his arms around you.

"You wanna talk.?" Joel brushes your hair behind your ear.

"I don't know Joel. I don't even know where to begin."

"Mhmm. How bout you just say the first thing you think of and we go from there."

His thumb runs across your cheek.

"Well..right now.." you lay soft kisses down his jaw moving down his neck till you reach a sensitive spot between his neck and shoulder, making him him moan, shifting beneath you. "Right now I want to talk about that.. (you lay another kiss on him) I want to talk about how that makes you feel.. (and another kiss on his neck) how knowing I fucked myself so hard to the thought of you.." you nudge your hips forward applying a little pressure feeling him get stiff. "I want to talk about how wet I was for you earlier.."

Joel growls unbuttoning his flannel you have on exposing your breasts under. Joel curses under his breath as he takes you in.

" you gonna tell me or are you just gonna stare at me like you have all day."

You smirk.

"You're drunk. I can't. You will regret this in the mornin.. this is tricky.. this is..." Joel pulls himself back, you are still on his lap.

"Are you fucking serious... was I drunk this morning... was I drunk in the truck.. no I was tipsy maybe but not drunk. I can recall every fucking word I said. God damn it Joel. I'll just call Tommy." You hop off his lap turning to go to the bathroom to grab your dress and boots. You knew you shouldn't have said that, but you did.

•

"Fuck it" he grabs the back of your neck spinning you around kissing you. His hands pushing the flannel off your body, Joel picks you up putting you back on the couch. Kissing down your body, every single inch.

"Your family is gonna kill me."

His hands sliding into the waist band of the sweats pulling them down.

"Open your legs and don't fucking move."

You sink down into the couch spreading yourself wide open, your cunt glistening with arousal. Joel gets on his knees kneeling below you. Two fingers spread your folds open.

"Fuck look at this, this pretty mess. You do as I say. Ya hear me."

"Yes" you shake under his touch, he hasn't even done anything yet and you feel like you could combust. "Please" you whine.

"Please what.. use your words." Joel holding your thighs open digging his fingers into your skin, his mouth inches away from your cunt.

"Fuck- me." This came out more of a plead than anything.

Joel lets out a sadistic chuckle.

"You're getting my mouth baby girl because you can't handle the rest. But this should take care of ya."

Before you could respond Joel's thick heavy tongue swipes up your cunt, he repeats this a few times up and down as you buck your hips. Craving for more, grinding on his face. Each time you buck forward Joel digs his fingers into your thighs harder and harder. You know it's gonna bruise but you don't even care. You've had men eat you out but not like this..

"Oh my god Joel.. fuck that feels .. fuck so good."

You tangle your fingers in his curls, pulling his face in even more to your heat.

Joel now focuses on your clit. Flicking his tongue over it, getting you right where he wants you. Shaking under him, he sucks on your bud.

"Hmm you taste so fucking good, so fucking sweet." You see black as he thrusts two fingers inside curling hitting that squishy little spot that will send you over the edge. You look down at Joel, seeing him peeking his big brown eyes up from your cunt as he sucks on you thrusting his fingers steady in and out.

"Joel- please.."

You feel yourself clinch on him, you know you are close but you don't want it to end.

"Don't stop, please don't stop."

Joel lets out an animal like growl as you squirt all over him.

"You filthy little girl, your soakin me baby, look at that.... you want more.?"

"Yes.. yes please more I'm.. ah fuck I'm close Joel.."

He picks up the pace, his fingers fuck your cunt fast and deep. You can't even think, can't even speak besides his name and moans.

"That's it.. yes.. good girl... almost there baby come for me.. you can do it.. I want you too.."

The climax fills you, white hot and hard your whole body quivers as you squirt everywhere again. You lay your head back panting.

"Joel." Your voice barely there.

"Yeah darlin."

You lift your head up, all fucked out but eyes still screaming for more. You shimmy off the couch on to your knees opening your mouth. He moves to you towering over top, he unzips his jeans, pulling down his boxers his long, girthy rock hard cock falls out and it's even bigger than you thought. Your eyes widen.

"You sure you can handle this...I don't think you can."

He's now pissing you off.

"Make me take it then."

Nothing more needed to be said. Your mouth wide open his hands on both sides of your head as he thrusts his cock slowly into your mouth. Starting off little by little he slides into your mouth, you swirl and flick your tongue across his tip making him buck his his hips shoving his cock into your mouth deeper.. harder.. Joel picks up his pace slamming in and out, hitting the back of your throat, choking on it covering your pretty face with spit.

"Jesus Christ, look at you.. look at you swallowing my cock like that... fuck... "

Joel's grip on your face tightened as he thrusted faster, fucking your throat in a frenzy. You couldn't breathe but you didn't care. You wanted to prove a point. You wanted to show him how desperate you were for him.

"Such a good fucking girl.. my filthy fucking girl.."

Joel thrusts in and out, spit now covering your chest, eyes watering. Hair completely fucked. He pulls out just for a moment, he tilts your chin up to look at him, showing him the mess he has made of you.

"you are beautiful on your knees all fucked out, all ready f'me.."

"Joel." You whimper, panting still trying to catch your breath. "I want you to cum."

No warning , no nothing he slams himself back into your throat. You choke.

"I decide on that baby.. haven't you learned."

Joel uses your throat. Rough and hard something about it has your body taking over by this ache again. You wiggle under him spreading your legs a bit more. Your hands trace down your body finding your wetness. You whimper against his cock, between the sensation of him using your throat how he wants, and now the slight pressure you applied to yourself knowing that just this morning this was all a fantasy to you. Joel notices your noticeable whimpering, when he sees you touching yourself he freezes. Cock hard just laying in your mouth.

"Is that how you did it this morning.. thinking about me.. you can't get enough can you.. needy little girl.. did I give you permission to touch yourself?" Joel taunts.

You look up at him, eyes wide as you bob your head up and down. Sucking the tip as it touches your lips. You knew he's probably gonna punish you for this but maybe you wanted that. You bob harder shoving his whole length in your mouth , choking on it you circle your clit harder. Joel takes a handful of your hair pulling you back to look at him.

"You want me to fuck you so badly don't you darlin.. you have been such a good girl... I'm not fucking you but I will cum in that mouth. And maybe just maybe I'll make you cum again... open your mouth.. tongue out."

Joel slaps his cock on your tongue, he rubs it on your lips before a hard thrust into your mouth.

"Go on .. show me how you did it.. how you played with your self.."

Joel fucked your mouth long hard thrusts, each time you circle your clit making you jerk he'd shove his cock deeper into your mouth.

"Fuck get up, lay down on the couch and spread your legs."

You do as you are told. Joel stays standing in front of you. Fist full of his cock stroking it. Your pupils wide, as you take the sight of this in. He was beautiful. Completely naked in front of you. His tan body toned from years of contracting, his salt n pepper curls now a mess.

"Go on.. show me.." Joel grunts.

You spread wide, your fingers trail up and down, rubbing all the sensitive spots, you take two fingers and apply all the pressure to your clit, your body shakes as you do. It does feel good but it wasn't like Joel.

"Yeah that's it.. is that how you did it earlier.. did you moan my name in your bedroom. Your dad in earshot.."

"Yes.. ah yes I did.."

"Do it again.." he demanded.

Joel follows your pace, you feel your climax building but you wanted to touch Joel, you needed to touch him. You insert two fingers in feeling how he stretched you out earlier just from his fingers. Your core is hot, you feel it coming.

"Joel- Joel - I need you.. need to touch."

Joel moves to you, you reach up wrapping your hand around his cock taking over stroking him as you play with yourself.

"Fuck ... fuckk.. keeping doin that darlin."

The touch of him is what you needed your body was like a woman possessed with how hard that orgasm hit you. You lay limp still stroking Joel. He's gotten so hard, you can feel his pulse , every twitch with every stroke.

"Open your mouth."

Joel moves your hand taking over as you open for him. He gives two hard pumps as he spills all over your tongue, his cum dripping down your lips down your chin.

"You gonna swallow for me?"

You nod your head. Swallowing it all. Joel collapses on to the couch next to you. Silence for a moment, but not a bad silence. More of taking in the events that just happened. His hands grip your thigh as you look at him.

buzz * buzz * buzz

Your phone ringing.

The clock lights up it's 4:45 in the morning and Tommy is calling you.

Joel's gaze hardens, his grip tenses. You stare at the phone letting it ring. It's like you were on a different planet and now you're back to reality.

"Um I should go home.." you stand up getting off the couch naked you walk to the bathroom to grab your dress. Joel follows.

"You know you can just sleep here.. we gotta be at the venue early would just make sense.." Joel stands in the doorway of the bathroom. "You're actin weird again.."

You stare at yourself in the mirror. How fucked he had you. How much of a mess.

"If I stay here.. I'm sleeping in your bed.. you think you could handle that.. is that crossing a line we shouldn't.."

Your fingers trace down his bare chest. Soft groan leaves Joel's mouth. "Didn't think so.. so I'm going home.. I can walk it's just a few blocks.. could use the air."

You slip back on the sweats and flannel saying fuck the dress.

"I'll get these back to you.. see you later? Unless you still want to switch and be with Sheila.?" You smirk at him.

"Yeah I'll see ya. Can you at least tell me when you made it home... I wish you'd let me just drive ya s'not a problem."

"I'm fine Joel. I need to clear my head okay.. I can take care of me."

He closes the space between the two of you. His hand cupping your face as you melt into his touch.

"Promise me you don't regret this.. whatever this was.." he looks at you. Conflicted expression.

"I don't, no regrets at all. Go to bed old man."

He leans in to kiss you, it was sweet, but there was also a smidge of desperation behind it.

•

You leave Joel's, the sky in that in between of night and dawn. The air has a chill, and it's what you needed.

*buzz buzz*

Your phone vibrates as your screen lights up with both the names of Joel and Tommy miller...

"Fuck what am I doin." You mumble.

You reach your house. It's still quiet. No one is up yet but your dad would be soon. The back door was open so you went in that way. You knew you needed to sleep but you couldn't. Your body high on the orgasms Joel gave you, your mind in a billion different directions with conflicting feelings.

You decided to take a shower, wash off the negativity. You peel off Joel's clothes sliding into the warm water. Little bruises on your body are starting to show, your thighs are marked. A slight pink one on your shoulder. That one would need covered. In a way you loved them. It was a reminder that he was there. You do a quick wash, as you get out of the shower your phone buzz's again.. this time dolly..

"Fucckkkkk"

* darlin I am sorry about Sheila.. she was out of line but so were you. I don't want to have to deal with drama on my wedding day so I'd appreciate that if you do switch with her.. it's easier.

You throw your phone down on to the counter. Normally this would be just whatever. You'd just go be with Tommy.. but you can't. You can't shake proving a point. You screenshot the text sending it to Joel. Replying to his other text asking if you made it home.

He replies

Joel miller • not happenin. You are on my arms all night. Gotta keep you away from my brother.

You • stop it. But you are right. Not happenin. Need my savior in case I need Savin. Maybe fuck me in the church bathroom.

Joel • filthy. Go to sleep. Need to be pretty for me later.

You were feeling bold so you sent a picture, your body wet, the bruises visible.

Joel • Jesus.

You go to check your other texts

Tommy miller • sweet girl hope you made it home safe.. had a great night with you. Save me a dance tomorrow?

You • hey! Yes it was fun. I came home and passed out. And of course.!

Tommy : Sheila texted me. Says you are with me now?

You • yeah dolly said somethin.. but no I'm not letting her have her way.. nothing against you Tommy.. you've got me to Dance with all night. <3

Buzz

Joel: if I marked up your body like that can you imagine what I'll do to that pretty tight little cunt.

You shriek at the thought.

You • filthy. Go to bed. Or maybe come show me then.. sure my dad wouldn't mind you coming over at dawn.

Joel • yeah hearin his daughter scream his best friend's name.. this is a conversation for later. Get some sleep.

You crawl into bed setting an alarm.

Sleep came somewhat easy until..

*

"It's okay to want both of us." Joel looks at you as he sets you down on his cock taking it all in as Tommy comes in front of you, rubbing his cock on your lips...

*

"What the actual fuck."

•

You slept for maybe 2 hours. You had a time schedule today and you didn't wanna give dolly another reason to be pissed at you.

You had to meet the wedding party at the venue for the reception first. That's where everyone was getting ready. Before you left you put some foundation and powder on that little red mark that now has a purple tint to it. You threw a bag together with the things you would need for the day.

Buzz buzz

You glance down your phone going crazy.

Sister - 3 texts

Tommy - 2 texts

Dolly - 4 texts

You ignore all their names searching for his.. and nothing..

you made your way downstairs, you dad sitting in his recliner.

"Hey babydoll, what time did ya make it back.?"

Shit you thought.

"It was late.. um.. you talk to dolly.. ?"

Your dad walks over to you hugging you.

"Yeah baby doll, just let it go.. do what she needs you to do.."

You look at him, stone expression.

"No.. no dad I won't.. why the hell did you think I left here in the first place.. I'm not a fucking child."

He looks at you. Hurt.

"Not what I meant... wait.. is that Joel's flannel.?"

Fuckkkkkkkkk

"Ah yeah, it was late I was upset... he let me vent to him for a few.. I passed out and walked home."

(It wasn't a complete lie)

"Okay just figured you were with Tommy. You two seemed pretty chummy. But good glad Joel took care of ya."

"Yup took great care of me... okay dad see ya later love ya."

"Love ya too kid."

Your phone rings it's Tommy.

"Sweet girl I'm here to pick you up, Joel said He'd just meet us there.. had to get Sarah."

This kind of annoyed you. He promised he would be here. He made you promise that you didn't regret last night.. but what if he does. Is that why he didn't pick you up.

You walk outside, Tommy standing there his long dark hair pulled back, his tan skin glows in the sunlight. His freckles more noticeable. His wife beater clings on to him, covered by a button down. Tight jeans l, his big ass belt buckle and boots.

"Well you clean up nice."

You smile at him, going in for a hug.

"Nice flannel." Tommy pulls back looking at you.

"Uh yeah not mine... went back to Joel's for a bit.. I needed to vent.. um."

Tommy's expression went from happy to a little confused . "It's fine sweetheart, glad you got to get things off your chest.. Joel can be a good listener when he wants to be." He chuckles.

"Okay.. yeah let's forget about all that.. new day.. "

Tommy opens your door helping you in. The miller boys knew how woman deserved to be treated.

The space filled with the hum of the truck and background of the radio.

"Sooo.. have you thought about it.. about going on a date.. I dont wanna over step I know you have alot.. doesn't even have to be a date.. we can just hang out.. I don't know I just feel lighter with you."

Tommy puts his hand on your sensitive thigh, not thinking a moan slips from your mouth.

Tommy's head cocks in curiosity of the little sound you just let out. You didn't know if it was the sensitivity of the marks from Joel or maybe it was the touch of Tommy. He licks his lips staring at you. His grip tightens and you do it again.

"Well that's a sweet little sound." The husky southern drawl in full effect.

You're head spinning because Joel said the same exact thing. This was cut short as you parked into the Venues lot. You couldn't breathe you needed out. Your door swings open fully expecting Tommy to be the one who opened it.. but it was Joel.

•

Your eyes wide like you have seen a ghost. He examined your body language staring into your soul he reaches out his hand pulling you out.

"Hey." Voice thick sweet as honey.

He looks at you again pulling you into a hug his lips linger above your ear. "Ballsy move wearing that.." the flannel falls off your shoulder exposing the little spot covered in foundation not quite your skin tone. Discreetly Joel runs his thumb across it.

"Hi" you finally reply. Looking behind him Tommy watching you.

You were totally fucked.

•

All three of you walk in together, Sheila's head snaps your way seeing you with both brothers . whispering something to one of the other girls. (She's such a slut.) they giggle.

"Can you behave today.?" Joel looks at you, the statement was innocent but the look in his eyes wasn't.

"Nope." You crack a wide smile.

You leave the two men walking back to where the "dressing room" was. You set yourself up in a little corner, not really wanting to be bothered. You do your make up, you opt to curl your long hair in hopes that would cover the tiny mark.

You slip out of your clothes, stepping in to your dress. You couldn't help but feel the eyes on you. Sheila staring as Dolly makes her way over to you...

"Hey darlin girl.."

"Hey" you gruffly reply.

"I fixed things we are good, Joel came to me himself.."

"Great... just tell your bitch of a friend to start away from me. Or I'll finish what I should have done last night.."

"People are just worried hun.."

"About? I'm fine." You pin your hair back trying to stay busy.

"I'm just saying , don't bite off more you can chew.. and don't.."

"Dolly I'm fine. Last night was just a lot, I have a lot going on. Today is about you. Focus on your beautiful wedding."

You hug her hoping that would get her to leave you alone.

•

An hour till ceremony.

*buzz

•Joel miller - saved ya once again.

•you - I know. Thank you.

•Joel miller - you can make it up to me later.

You sit there wandering mind.

*buzz

Tommy miller - can't help to wonder what other parts of you make you let out that sweet little moan.

You contemplate on what you say.. your mind goes to curiosity of how it would be with Tommy. Then to the fact that they are in the same room with one another texting you these things.

•

Half hour

Now it was time to get the bridesmaids and groomsman together. You walk into the hallway your silk gown clinging to your curves. You spot one.. then you spot the other.. both looking straight at you.

You hug Tommy first, his hands tight around your waist.

"You look beautiful." He gently kisses your cheek. This was nothing he's done it before, but this opened your curiosity even more. How gentle and soft his lips were, how they would feel else where.. That was quickly interrupted, by a big hand grabbing yours pulling you to him. Tight hug. His hands replacing the spot Tommy's were. It's like he posses you. You want to collapse under the smallest touches from him. He smells so good. He's wearing a different cologne, but still mixed with the normal intoxicating scent of him.

He speaks softly into your ear so you are the only one to hear him.

"You do look beautiful.. but I know you will look even more beautiful when I make you cum later."

You gasp.

He pushes your hair back, looking down at your shoulder.

It was like no one was there.

"Well you look nice mr miller, it's a shame you have to be paired with her, we would be the hottest ones in there."

Sheila chuckles as she stands next to you. Tommy quickly moving over as well.

"Wow Sheila thanks are you saying I'm the ugly brother." Tommy chuckles.

"She would be blind if that's what she's implying." You smile at Tommy. This statement making Joel clinch his jaw. "I mean any woman would be lucky to have either one of you.. just not you Sheila.. you deserve a cockroach."

She glares at you rolling her eyes.

The music begins meaning it's time. You stand next to Joel as your hand shake. He reaches down linking his hands with yours.

"Easy darlin. It's alright."

He knows your anxiety how you get in situations like this. "I got you."

He rubs his thumb on your little hand, staring at it.

"Joel."

"Yeah honey.?"

You look at him tears filling your eyes.. you don't know what's came over you.

"I -"

You were cut off by the music to enter the church. You hook his arm, his grip tight, he takes his other hand playing with your fingers.

You look over at him smiling.

"How do you do that?"

"Do what darlin.?"

"Calm me down the way you do, but at the same time drive me crazy.?"

You were the last couple to walk down. Joel seen this as an opportunity that he had you alone just for a moment. He swings you around to face him, his hands run down your body, his hands grip your ass as he presses his lips to yours. Kiss was short as he pulled away when it was your que to walk.

"That did the opposite of calming me..."

Joel chuckles.

•

The church was decorated beautifully, you went to your spot in line of the bridesmaids. In the crowd you spot your dad, your sister, and Sarah. The ceremony was tender and heartfelt. Even as much as you were annoyed with dolly she's your aunt and you are so happy that she gets her happy ending. The music plays to exit and your heart skips a beat. Eager to get back to Joel knowing that tonight's going to be a long one with all the family around. You meet in the middle linking your arm through his.

"That was beautiful."You say.

"You're beautiful... I need to get you alone."

You continue walking, trying to finish this conversation before you can't.

"How... Sarah will ride with you.. my family is here.. Tommy.. I'm overwhelmed Joel."

"I don't know. But I'll make it happen... actually maybe we shouldn't.. maybe just take a break from this.. I don't know.." Joel looks at you confused making you go dead silent.

"Fine then we won't." You look at him tears building.

You make it back to the lobby of the church, everyone mingling before it's time to move to the reception. You stand there with Joel, and Tommy. Walking to you is the group of your sister, your dad and Sarah.

"Hey girlllllll" Sarah smiles as she hugs you.

"Hi love, you look great. How are things!"

"Things are good! I'm living in Dallas now. Going to school, visit here when I can.. you know how my dad is.."

You laugh.. "yeahhhh I do..."

"So England.. how was that.? How's your beautiful man with that charming accent."

"Well considering he's engaged to someone that's not me.." you shrug.

"No way, did you tell dad. Let him handle him.. you seeing anyone.?"

You look over, Joel is listening.

"Um I don't know.. kind of.. it's I don't know what it is.. complicated definitely."

"Ohhhh is it... who who" Sarah squeals.

"Can't tell ya." You wink.

Sarah groans. "Ugh that's no fun. I want to know all the gossip."

Tommy comes over putting his arm around both you and Sarah.

"So what are we talking about?" He looks back and forth between the two of you. Joel still lingering talking to your dad.. well sort of just listening to your dad as he listens to your conversation.

"Nothing we were talking about nothing." You give Sarah the look.

Everyone starts leaving the church. You figured you'd catch a ride with your dad.

"Hey sweetie why don't you ride with Tommy. Told some people I could give them a lift."

"Sure dad." You hug him, as Tommy stands waiting. Like clockwork he opens your door and into the truck you go. Parked across is Joel.. and if looks could kill the truck would have been blown to smithereens. Sarah sits in the passenger seat talking as Joel speeds out.

•

This feels all too familiar. Like Deja vu almost.

"Sooo.." Tommy trails off. You turn to look at him, he's inches away. You could feel his breath. He smells of mint and sandlewood.

"Sooo." You smile. Tommy reaches over his hand on your thigh. You shiver under his touch as he moves his hand slowly till he reaches the fabric of your panties.

"This okay?" His drawl heavy and velvet. Lust filled almost.

You nod staring at him. Really realizing how beautiful he was. How gentle.

He doesn't go in he just runs his fingers across where your covered heat is. You whimper because as much as you hate to admit it and as much as it complicates things even more you do feel something.

"Tommy..." you moan. He gently presses his lips to you, warm soft and welcoming. Something about it was so delicate. Tommy's tongue traces your bottom lip asking to enter your mouth, you let him. His hand wrapping around the back of your neck pulling you in closer as his tongue swirls around yours. The grip on the back of your neck was just enough pressure to make you moan into his mouth.

"Fuck I don't think I'd ever get tired of hearing that."

He goes back into kissing you, deepening with every second your lips were on one another. You run your hands down his Chest, he goes to pull you to him and you pull back knowing if you go to him things will escalate to a point you don't know if you can handle at this moment.. it's not that you didn't want too because you kinda did.

At this point everyone has left the parking lot leaving you there.

"Tommy.. we gotta go.." you let out a deep breath as You sit there not knowing how to feel besides that this is fucked all the way up...

and Joel is going to be furious.

•

You reach the reception hall, you both were the last of the wedding party to arrive. Joel's face in a scowl.

"Where the fuck have you been.?" Joel asks his jaw tight, hands balled into a fist.

"Tommy drove. Dad made me ride with him..."

"I know that.." he looks at you not knowing how to feel. You aren't his. He ain't yours. Hell has your dad's best friend. He's Tommy's brother. Sarah's dad.

"Joel.. don't. I don't know what you want me to say.. what you want me to do... thought you just wanted to forget about it today.."

He looks away dead stare on Tommy.

The music plays.

All the pairs enter one by one. No cute finger playing this time. Just a firm lock on your arm.

Entrances end, everyone welcomes In dolly and Randy. You thank god you can attempt to get some space. You walk outside to the edge of the building. Footsteps coming behind you and arms wrap around your waist spinning you around.

"Hey you promised me a dance." Tommy's big brown eyes glimmer.

"I indeed did Tommy miller." You smile. His button up open. His tie still around his neck. His tank top clinging to him. He looks so good. "Give me a minute okay.. just overstimulated. I'll be in soon." He leaves you with a kiss on the check. You stand there for a few minutes more, watching Tommy walk back in noticing a figure in the distance that could only be Joel.

You turn back around facing the road watching as cars go by.. footsteps approaching.

"What the fuck are you doing. You think this is okay. Maybe Sheila was right."

Wide eyed you look at him.

"Joel.... you.. You don't mean that... it's just.. I don't know.. " He scoffs with a laugh.

"You think I'm stupid darlin. How it must feed your ego to have both of us wrapped around your finger... you leave for years then come back and fuck with my head.. hell even Tommy's head.

You roll your eyes

"Do I Joel.. do I really.. you can't touch me in public.. you whisper to me in secret.. Hell Half the time you avoid me or stand in the distance listening to me. You pull me in and then push me away.. you didn't pick me up this morning which led to me think you avoided me or you were regretting last night. then you come here acting like everything is fine.. then it's oh let's forget it all.. you are scared... you are scared that there is something here. Regardless of how messy and complicated.. And maybe Tommy isn't."

You storm past his shoulder checking him.

You rush to the bathroom, your face flooded with tears.

Knock knock

"Hey it's Sarah.. what's going on. You want to let me in?"

You open up, Sarah sliding in.

"Sarah I-" you just sob.

She takes you in to a hug. Petting your head.

"Sarah I'm so Confused ..."

You look up at her. "And I can't tell you I can't tell anyone."

There is a bang on the door.

"Sarah.. it's dad.. everything okay.?"

You couldn't tell him to go away because that would bring up questions.

"Yeah dad we will be out in a second." Sarah calls out.

"Can you ask her if it's okay if I talk to her.? Maybe I could help." She looks at you waiting for your answer.

"Yeah.. yeah fine." You shrug.

Sarah opens the door slipping out as Joel slips in.

He stands there , inches away waiting until Sarah has hopefully gone away. You look at him and just sob.

"C'mere baby I'm sorry.. I'm sorry.. this is hard for me too.. I shouldn't have said those things.. shouldn't push you away."

"Joel.. I have to tell you something and you cannot freak out."

His grip around you tightens.

"I swear Joel. You can't... Tommy kissed me.. that's why we were late.. it was just a kiss and he gripped my thigh and they are sensitive because.." (you leave out a bit of information but it was nothing really.. kind of..)

You pull up the dress, the nail marks, with little purple bruises.

"Then I moaned and I didn't mean too but it just.." you were now rambling.

He looks at you and chuckles.

"Joel how is this funny.. and then you were an ass to me saying let's forget things and I can't I can't forget you.. I can't forget last night.. and I'm just fucking I don't know.. I'm fucking confused."

You pull back to look him in the eyes.

"Do you regret last night.?" His voice stern.

"No."

He kisses down your jaw, down your neck.

"Okay. So you won't mind if I do this."

His hand trails up your thighs digging his nails into those already left marks, you moan but he cuts you off with his lips to yours his tongue sliding in invading you.

He pulls away to look at you.

"Did Tommy do it like that.?" He whispers.

Your mouth drops.

"Joel.. don't.."

"Darlin you're mine.. do what you need to do but just know that."

"Joel you can't just say shit like that.." you bark at him.

He opens up the bathroom door walking out not answering you.. You wait a moment and you do the same.

•

The reception was lively. Everyone dancing. You dance mainly with Sarah and Tommy. Just having fun, goofing around like old times. Every now and then Tommy brushes your hand, and in those moments you swear you watch Joel clinch his jaw as he sits with your dad watching. The music switches to a slow song, Sarah gets taken by one of the groomsman,and Tommy stares at you.

"I guess I should keep my promise." You walk towards him , as he pulls you in. Wrapping his arms around your waist, your arms around his neck.

Tommy is warm. Warm like the sun.

His linger above your ear, you sway to the music comfortably.

"This is a change from the other night." You laugh.

"Yeah, good change though. Not sayin havin your body on me in that way wasn't.. this is just.. this is nice.. It's comforting."

You look up at him, his big brown eyes staring like you are the prettiest thing he has ever seen. You push a strand of his dark hair out of his face.

"You are comforting Tommy.. like a light in the darkness of my mind."

He goes to kiss your forehead, when a hand touches his shoulder.

"Little brother.. you mind if I cut in.?" Tommy lets go as Joel takes over.

"She's all yours." Tommy walks away, looking back as Joel grips on your waist.

Your body in shock. As you feel all the eyes in the room on you.

"Ballsy move Mr miller." You nuzzle your head into his shoulder. Maybe a little more comfortable than you should be.

"You said I didn't touch you in public and I was scared.. this is me proving somethin. You've consumed my every thought today. All I have wanted is to touch you in every way. That's why I watch you. Why I listen." you look up at him.. Joel shows his emotions in his eyes, you can tell he really means it.

"You are gonna start lots of rumors..." you smile.

"Not rumors if there is truth behind some of it.."

you notice Tommy in the corner talking to one of the other bridesmaids, everyone seems pre occupied, giving you a moment to do something that's been on your mind all day. You cup his face exactly how you did in the truck, him melting under your touch, you trailed your hand down his body to the top of his belt, you inch your hand to go lower when he grabs your wrist.

he looks down at you, his brown eyes now black.

"Meet me outside.. behind my truck.. 5 minutes."

The song ends you both walk towards the tables. Joel leaves you walking outside. You linger by the door hoping you can sneak out. You wait a few minutes and you bolt outside. Joel's truck is parked in the far side of the lot close to the woods. You walk down looking for him, not seeing him you walk to the opening of the woods when he peeks out from a tree pulling you into the woods.

You let out a shriek followed by his hand over your mouth.

"Quiet."Joel slips his hand under your dress.

"I just want to feel you. How soft, how wet, how warm."

You moan under his hand that's covering your mouth.

Your breath picks up as Joel dips two fingers in. You can't speak all you can do is moan against his hand which unironically is only stifling your moans a bit.

He doesn't take his time with you. It's too risky, he's too full of need. He inserts two fingers in pumping furiously into your wetness. Each pump you tighten on his fingers. Your on body fire. Your legs shaking e it didn't take long for him to know the exact spots on your body that drive you crazy.

"Joel.. Joel.." you manage to speak under his hand.

"Quiet baby"

Joel moved his hand as he does he hooks his fingers making you squeal which was cut off by his lips. For a moment it felt like everything froze and all that mattered was Joel kissing you. Long and hard, so much passion. There was no inviting one another in, his tongue owned yours, his teeth grazing over your bottom lip. It was like he was trying to prove something. Something to you. Something to himself. As much as you were enjoying his fingers this was 10000 better and that's how you knew you were truly fucked. You both pull away Joel moving his hands to hold your face staring at you. it's like a light bulb goes off.

"So what are we gonna do about this?" You ask out of breath. Joel's hands roam your body memorizing every inch of how you feel.

"What do you want." Joel lays sweet kisses on your shoulder.

"You. I want you."

Then we figure it out." Joel kisses your forehead.

You both freeze as footsteps approach quickly putting space between. You hide behind a tree as Joel walks back to the edge of the lot to see who was there. You stay there hidden. You listen in the distance when you hear that sweet silky voice.. Tommy.

•

"Hey big brother, have you seen her? Figured maybe she needed air."

You can't see too much through the trees but you can see just enough to see Joel's whole body tense up. You hated this. You hated that they were brothers. But maybe that's why you liked them so much in a twisted way the things the one didn't have the other one did.

"I haven't seen her, just came out for a smoke."

Joel put his hands on his hips,

The dad pose he does.

"Okay well if you do, just let her know I was looking for her."

"Sure sure.."

Joel walks away. Tommy lights up a cigarette. You lean on the tree debating if there was another way out of these woods. You watch for a bit, watching Tommy's body language, the way he stands, the way his puffs on the cigarette. Your mind wanders back to the conversation you just had with Joel, now these contradicting feelings for Tommy. He walks towards his truck, you inch towards the lot maybe gonna try to sneak out. You make it to the end and there he stands.

(Fuck that's not weird at all.)

"Hey" you smile.

"Hi sweetheart, where have you been.?"

(Shit think of a lie.)

"Um so I thought I seen a raccoon, and I love those guys, I haven't seen one since I been back home they don't have them in England.."

Tommy chuckles.

"Should have told me, I would have gotten it."

"No you would have shot it , Mr sniper man."

"Hey I could have made you one of those hats with the tail. You'd be pretty cute In that."

You laugh. Like really laugh. Something that hasn't happened in a while. Tommy grabs your hand swinging back and forth like teenagers.

"Should probably go back in.." you look at him.

"Yeah we probably should..." he trails off as he pulls you to him.

"Tommy... I.. I'm sorry I'm just overwhelmed.." you back away, his eyes fill with sadness.

"It's fine, I shouldn't come on so strong.."

"No you're fine it's me. I'm just a mess. You are great and sweet and fucking beautiful. I just need to figure my shit out."

"I understand that sweet girl I'm here for you no matter what. You think I'm beautiful?" He does that cheeky smirk.

You look into his pretty brown eyes, and you can't help but smile. It's like your body owns your mind you go in to hug Tommy again, he brings you in and just holds you there. Your arms wrapped around his neck, his tight grip on your waist. You lay your head on his shoulder.

"You are literally sunshine in human form."you whisper in his ear. You look up to see that grin.

Tommy lets you go.

"If I didn't move I was going to kiss you.. and I don't want to overwhelm you even more than you already are.. but just know that. "

You turn walking back into the building. Everyone is still dancing, Joel is back in the corner with your dad talking to some of the others. He's back to watching you, as soon as you entered it's like his body knew. Your body the same way it's like he has a spell on you. A few feet near him and you are done for.

"Hey there you are." Sarah runs over. "Where have you been, everyone's been asking.. Tommy especially what's going on there? Would be kinda weird he's my uncle but I mean.. why not yall would be cute.. and he's a good man.. "she shrugs with a smile

"Nothing, nothing is going on.. he just cares about me, the other night we talked about life... uhhh yeah.. okay... I think I need to go home.. um im gonna call a uber or somethin."

You run to the back grabbing your things. You throw everything into a bag and bolt out the door. You didn't know how but you needed to be anywhere but here. You decided to walk down the road a bit to the gas station.

You : where are you.

Joel miller : sitting here talking to your dad and Tommy. He seems chipper. Anything I need to know. Won't be mad. Where are you.? Haven't seen you in a bit.

You : I left.

Joel miller : where. I'm on my way.

•

You go into the gas station, buying whatever cheap liquor they have. You sit on the curb enjoying being alone just watching people come and go. 20 minutes since Joel's last text. About half the bottle gone now. You scroll through your phone. Ignoring all the incoming calls and texts.

Sarah miller : be safe. If you need to vent just tell me. I'm worried about you. Xoxo

Dad : hey baby girl you alright?

Tommy miller : 🦝

That made you laugh, and then when you looked up your heart felt like it was going explode.

Joel's truck in front of you, he parks it as he gets out.

"You came."

Joel picks you up off the curb. "You needed me. I'm here."

You both were done fighting your feelings, you were done being careful. (For tonight at least.) He pulls you in, hands on your face as his lips consume yours. You moan into his mouth, as his hands travel all over your body.

"Joel-". You manage to say between kisses.

"Take me somewhere, anywhere."

He stops long enough to put you In the truck closing your door. He drives for a bit, down some backroads until he reaches a field he pulls in to. It's dark but you can tell there are wildflowers everywhere, and the lightning bugs are out. He reaches In the back seat grabbing a few blankets he keeps in case of emergencies.

"Come on." He motions. You follow him as he lets down the gate to the bed of the truck. He throws the blankets in there before he helps you up.

You crawl in, Joel squeezing beside you.

"C'mere." He opens his arms

You nuzzle yourself into Joel. You finally let out a breath that you feel like you have been holding in all day.

"I've needed this all day." You say as you curl your self more into Joel.

Joel plays with your hair, letting out a deep breath himself. "I've needed you all day."

You look up at him, no words could say what either one of you were thinking. He leans down pressing his lips to yours. At first it was safe, it was a peck until he realized that you were alone. Completely alone. No one out here for miles. He pulled back just to look at you before he dove right back in. The hunger taking over. Messy kisses, kisses that felt like if you didn't do this now you would never have the chance again. He's taken over your mouth, his tongue all over his teeth graze your bottom lip gently nibbling and sucking on it, you let out a moan you swear people could hear from miles away. He doesn't tell you to be quiet he doesn't put his hand on your mouth he just makes his way kissing down your jaw to your neck. Your breath trembles as you feel his hand slip under your dress, rubbing all the way up your thigh.

You unbuckle his belt, then his pants. You kinda thought he would stop you.. but he didn't instead he pulls off his teeshirt he changed into before he came to get you. His lips find his way back to yours as he unzips your dress, you pull down his jeans his underwear with it. His hands kneed your breasts and he opens your legs getting Between, he hooks his fingers pulling your panties off, you lay naked under him. His hand cups your face as he lines himself up with your entrance.

"You sure bout this." Joel looks you in the eyes, your hips buck impatiently.

"Does it feel like I'm sure, because to me one I've never been wetter and two I have never wanted anyone as bad as I -" Joel cuts you off by one hard thrust into you, followed by 3 more getting your body adjusted to him.

"Fuck Joel, god feels so-"

Joel starts a rhythm, hard, deep , but steady. He wraps his hand around the back of you neck and he leans down, his body pressed on yours, you wrap your legs around pulling him in more making his thrusts hit your cervix, this makes your tighten your legs around him even harder.

"Yes that's it baby, I feel you clinchin on me.. good girl taking it so well."

Joel tangles his fingers in the hair at the nape of your neck pulling your head back, each thrust feels like you could levitate.

"Talk to me baby.. feel good?" Joel grunts as he holds your waist as he thrust in and out, in and out. You stare up eyes glisten high on lust.

"Harder." You choke out.

He pauses for a moment, looking down his thumb traces your bottom lip. Joel's eyes darken. Thunder rumbles, lightning fills the sky. Joel's grip on your waits tightens as he thrusts again one slow deep one before he switches completely. He holds you as he slams in over and over. You are taking every single inch of him. Thunder rumbles again followed by pounding rain. Joel doesn't stop if anything he fucks you harder as the rain comes down.

"Fuck yeah give it to me Joel." You cup his face , just have you done making him melt, making him lose control. You can't think it's just slam after slam inside you.

You stare into his eyes taking it all in. Then it hits you, that fire in your core, clinching tightly on him.

"You gonna cum f'me, did daddy fuck you hard enough."

You loved the filthy side of him, it took you to another level.

He thrusts in and out a few more times

"Mhmm yes.. don't stop... please don't- fuck Joel yes I'm coming.."

Rain is pouring all around you. Joel fucks you through your climax.

"We should get going." Joel sighs, truck bed wet, the blankets soaked, and you both look like you went swimming.

"No" you push Joel to lay down, you move yourself on top of him. Legs on each side straddling His cock still hard. You move your hips up just enough to line him up with you before fall back taking in all of him.

"Holy fuck" Joel curses.

You bounce your hips up and down, steady rhythm taking in all of him with each bounce. Your wet bodies slamming into one another, your wet long hair dripping. The rain comes down harder as Joel sits up wrapping his arms around you as you ride him. You lean back giving that arch to hit deeper.

"Fuckin pretty riding my cock. Clinching down on me already."

Joel lets out a growl as you pick up your pace.

"You gonna cum for me baby." You ask.

Something about that made Joel's demeanor switch. From dominating, to submitting to you.

You sink your hips up and down up and down, his grip tightens on your waist.

"Fuck yes baby ride my cock, just like that. I'm gonna fill you up"

You feel Joel's cock twitch inside of you, followed by his hot cum spilling inside. The rain still pouring, lightning strikes again.

You both hop out of the truck bed, attempting to find your now soaked clothes.

•

Joel cranks the heat in the truck attempting to get dry. His hands stay on some part of you. Your phone keeps buzzing but you just ignore it.

"Is Sarah staying home tonight?"

You look over at Joel.

"Yeah I think so, you want me to drop you home?"

"I left my dress there the other night.. should probably get it before someone sees it and asks questions.."

"Yeah we can go get it, I'll get you dry clothes too. If anything you can stay for a bit. Sure Sarah would like to spend time with you."

You look down getting anxious.

"Yeah I just I just don't know right now... Joel.."

"Yeah baby?"

"We definitely crossed a line.. something we can't take back.. something we can't go back from."

"I know.." he squeezed your thigh, not in a sexual way but in a way that told you that's it's okay.

•

You reach Joel's house, your soaked dress clinging to you. Giggling as you walk in until you freeze. Tommy and Sarah sit on the couch as your dress sits on the table. You all stare at one another waiting for someone to say something.

"So what's going on. Yall okay!?" Tommy asks.

You stand frozen. How are you here. How 20 minutes ago it was Joel just Joel. But now seeing Tommy it's all fuzzy. You look back and forth shaking.

"Got caught in the storm.. hit a back road, got stuck, she left her dress, came to get it before I take her home."

Joel chimes in. Always saving you.

You notice Tommy's body language. How he's quiet.

"Yeah I left it here the other night." You grab the dress off the table, your hands still trembling. "Um I should go..." you motion to the door.

"No stay, I can get you clothes. Come with me." Sarah gets up heading for the stairs and you follow. You make it up to her room and she shuts and locks the door.

"So what's actually going on, and please don't lie to me."

Tag list : @ohhoneypascal @mani-pedro @megangovier @littledes1re @shaunasrabbit @glitterspark @umadirectioner @darknight3904 @thoughtfullypinkgiver @iknowisoundcrazy @gardeniaviolets

[kerryshifts]

i read your pinned post and why do you want to live forever? like be immortal

we think we have many desires .. but in fact we have only one. to live, forever.

IT’S IMMORTALITY … MY DARLINGS.

why is such thing as immortality, who was always represented in media as a curse who will break your soul into pieces century after century, a thing that shifters like me decide to engage in? this is my personal experience. so. it's very personal. may have sensitive topics.

you know when you are a young child and you find out that the sun will die in some billion years? i spend the whole day sobbing when my older cousin told me. i was four, and that was my first introduction to death. since that day i discovered that everything seemed to lead there: no matter what you do in life, how old or young you are, if you deserve it or not. i was always told that i have one life, and my non–religious family said that there's nothing after. that's it. no other opportunities.

since then i had a very love and hate relationship with death. hated when it took something from me, loved in the hope that would take me. everytime my life started to get dark, it was my first thought. listening to born to die by lana del rey on repeat became part of my routine.

and then. boom. THE canon event. shifting.

i fell on my knees. i was desperate. i wanted other chances. i wanted other lives. my higher self thought it was a good idea to give me this knowledge. i was fourteen, my mom was my enemy, lana del rey my saviour, and all of my friendships were girls, so confusing by charli xcx before girls, so confusing (fourteen years old me would have eat that up). so, i decided to believe it immediately. no questions asked. but, of course, i was a teenage girl. shit happens. and the italian school system it's worse than an asylum. and then shit actually happened!!! the type of things that makes you laugh hysterically before sobbing on the carpet. i was sixteen and suddenly i didn't want other lives, and neither the one i had. i totally forgot about shifting… and then i reached the rock bottom. like. really bad. it was a continue cycle of sadness and apathy and then, almost two years later, anger. ooooooooooh boy i was mad.

i never understood the people around me calling me rebellious – like. girl. where? until i discovered shifting again. septermber 2024. what a time to be alive! but first: that summer really did something to me. going in my home country, connecting with the place where my ancestors walked, breathed and lived really was a slap in the face. that summer i actually picked up a book after years of caring about nothing, and i was still the curious child that would go in historical websites to research about things. watched documentary after documentary. i read poetry. scientific shits that i never actually understood. politics. an hatred for all the people who said to me that "you only have one life" hit me so hard. i was furious because i spent years of my 'only' life sobbing in my bed. SEPTEMBER 2024. shifting!!!!!! fuck!!!!!!!!!! i totally forgot about that!!!!!!!!!! instead of tiktok i used tumblr, and i got slapped in the face numerous times again. it's so different from what i thought. better. amazing. the answer to my questions.

so, all this to say what? immortality. basically: rebellion. revenge. out of spite. my last and long lasting sarcastic laugh. i want culture. now i care about things around me. i care about myself. i care about my soul, all the possible versions of me. the world. other people. i want to be young and old again. and again. i healed. i am not mad, i am excited. i have a journey. emotions that i can't wait to experience. a big middle finger to death who consumed my first eighteen years of life. this feels very dramatic but hey!!! i watch too many movies so that's probably why.

[thatfrailsoul]

– I watch the skies getting light as I write

tarot pick a pile reading ( → 1, 2, 3 )

pictures from pinterest → one, two, three

One step after another. One shaken breath. One look around you, confused, as you are trying to understand what is real, what is good and what is bad… What you got through, the things you’ve endured and accepted from the same hands that you thought would only caress you, take care of you, protect you… With that one fear of making the same mistakes. Of never learning and calling upon yourself the same fate again, as you hold another hand.

After surviving a fever that lasted a little too long, I'm back again, with this new reading from our Divinatory Jukebox!♡ I still feel a little meh, so for a while I will do readings that are slightly shorter, so I can come back gradually without overwhelming myself. And so for today, and through the song “How to disappear” by Lana Del Rey, your inner self has a little story to tell you, about what it is holding deep down in your heart, hiding it, not being able to release it, not before being fully able to understand it. What it was, why it did happen, how so much pain was able to overwhelm you right when you felt so safe… This reading will be a little message for you about your journey of love, the one that you are so eager to go through, to make progress in, without realising how your own hurt heart is holding you back, too afraid of feeling again the same pain of the past now, when those wounds are still bleeding so much.

Give yourself a moment. Slow down your breath, feel it. Put aside any judgement, overthinking or convictions… And just follow the pile that caught your gaze more, the one that will allow you to connect to yourself and receive this needed message.

And let me know what pile you chose..!♡

P.s. A little question for you ♡

{ Thank you so much for letting me know!♡ }

– Pile One,

the child: the six of cups and the knight of wands

It was never your fault. All the people that you met. The bonds you had. The things they did and said… It never was because of you. Of how you were, your worth or what you did. And it never could've been different, no matter how much the regret makes it seem possible or real.

There are so many ways in which a situation can evolve, so many different outcomes that depend only on what we are willing to do and want. It's true. But the past is a whole different story. It is something that we can’t reach. And that, fortunately, can never grasp us no matter how much we fear it.

And you need to understand it. To feel it. A truth that is so simple that is just overlooked, never considered by our judgemental and overthinking mind. The fact that we are safe here. Now. You are safe. Because you are not anymore with those people, not stuck in those suffocating moments that felt like an eternity of hurt.

You are here now. And it is new, every single second of it. At each step, each moment, each new breath… You enter a new reality of possibilities, created with your decisions, with your awareness and confidence that you won’t allow it to happen ever again. And it is enough. Truly. To protect you. It is enough to put miles and miles between you and them, or all those reflections of their meanness and cruelty of which you sometimes catch a glimpse in others that come too close to your heart.

You are safe here, with your own self. You have enough protection and guidance. Enough to not make again those mistakes, even if they never were yours in the first place and you simply learned from them through all this pain. You are doing well. No matter if you are getting closer to someone or, contrary, are hiding for a moment to heal and rest. No matter if it is all like you wanted and imagined, or completely the opposite and frustrating in how slow or fast it is. No matter if you are making a decision, opening your heart again, or are still waiting, still unsure… You are doing well. It is your journey. Only yours. Even when it seems to be influenced so strongly by the others. It is still and only yours to live and follow. And no matter how you will do it, it will always be the right way, the one that will be enough for your heart.

Don't put even more pressure on yourself. Don't fuse the past, of which you are still so afraid, and the future, that you are already overthinking, in this ball that you are ready to throw at yourself again and again. Let them go for a moment, detach them. Not from yourself, but from each other. Don't force the past, with your fears and convictions, to come into your future and shape it. Because it never was supposed to do it, it never wanted it, if we’d talk about it like it is a personification of some sort…

It's the past for a reason. You already got through it. You already lived it all. So allow yourself to stop keep on doing it in the now. Or in the future. Don’t look at this life through the lenses of someone that you are not anymore. Nor through those of the ones that wounded you, betrayed you, even if it still hurts. Let those situations and memories alone. Let them be. In their own eternal moment. In the space and time that was created just for them. They don't need more of it, they don't need for you to sacrifice your present moments or the future ones. And you don't need it in order to stay safe.

You already learned from them. What you needed and even more, even those lessons that weren't yours. You gained the strength, the confidence. You healed enough to live different moments and connections, to experience a different type of love… You just need to become aware of it. Of the fact that there is no need to keep on fearing, aggressively protecting yourself from it. Whatever that “it” might be. It will not repeat. It will be all different. And, in the good and in the bad, you are ready for it. You just need to realise and live it.

{ ♡ }

– Pile Two,

the tree: the queen of cups and the temperance

Even though it is much better and gentle to hear that it never was supposed to be this way, that you never were destined to feel so much pain… That it wasn't your fault, nor the consequences of who you were and what you wanted… Even if it would be so much easier to heal those wounds if you would hear all of this… It still wouldn't be a complete truth. And you would know it deep down, you would have that uneasy feeling, that fear that it might happen again, because you would be aware of the fact that it was indeed because of what you did and said, to others or to yourself.

It was bound to happen. Your heart was destined to be scratched and crushed. In that moment or in another. In the hands of that person or in the ones of someone else… perhaps even yourself. It would've happened either way. Because it was the only thing that could've break through that wall of delusion, entitlement, a little immaturity, that was creating so many wrong convictions in you about the connections, about the shapes and ways of love. That pain and the feeling of betrayal… were truly the only things that could get you angry enough to unveil that mirror that you never looked in. It was the only way to make you see. Who you were, your own actions and words, your needs and desires, that often weren't so aligned. It was the only way to turn your gaze, your scrutiny and judgement inwards. To you. And not only to others, that so often simply reacted to how you were.

It is not an easy subject. The one of the maturity, of growing, of realising our own mistakes and for the first time, after so long, seeing the uncomfortable truth that it wasn't only others, the source of so much challenge and pain. It is not easy to listen to all those sudden conclusions and answers that our mind starts to find, when it is alone with our heart… And it is even more difficult to accept them, to admit that we too did our part in creating those battles in which we got stabbed…

But you did it. No matter if you wanted it, decided to take that time and reflect, or if it just came crashing down on you in the moment that you were already so tired and consumed that you couldn't ignore or postpone it. You did it. To your own self. You found a way to listen to you, to the truth, to allow you to show yourself how the things really were as you got through them, not seeing nothing but attacks and betrayals. You did it. You stayed there for a moment. You let it sink in. Until it changed something in you, even if those wounds still continued to sting.

Your healing became your growth. And each stitch on your heart started to feel sweet and sour in its pain, because of the knowledge that it wasn't just useless hurt. It had a reason, a motive, that you can now escape and avoid because you know what are those things that can trap you in them.

It gives you confidence, that new knowledge and awareness of yourself, enough to make you feel ready for another journey. For a new connection in which you can practice the things that you learned, making them truly work… But it is a little too soon now. You still need those stitches to keep you together, to burn a little to remind you of the consequences of impulsive and rushed steps that you shouldn't take if you want to take care of yourself. And this means that you are not ready. Not until those wounds will be only scars. Scars that you don't try to forget about and hide away. But those that you respect and are proud of, the ones that you look at without feeling regret, shame or rage. Those that you honour, by making the steps that never would make your body, your heart, go again through all that pain.

You need a little more time. A little more patience. Those feelings and connections that you strive for will not go anywhere. They will wait for you to be truly ready. They will wait because they know that it is best this way, that it is worth it, for you to heal completely first, before doing the next step.

{ ♡ }

– Pile Three,

the paths: the moon and the five of wands

It wasn't really your choice to be here. To be alone, to feel so tired and cold. It never was your intention, not even for a second, to remain without anyone… It never was the reason behind your actions and your words. And yet they led to this. To feeling so misunderstood in every connection and situation, to seeing their eyes so hurt or full of rage, even when you chose your words so carefully, as you only tried to explain what you needed, what you felt…

It feels a little like a losing game. The one you can never win no matter how hard you try, not when the rules change every single damn time. The people, their thoughts and feelings, their unique way of seeing a connection, what love is supposed to be… It is just tiring and confusing. Especially for a heart that never wanted so many complications, so many “adventures”. A heart that so innocently and genuinely only looked for love, in any way, shape or form.

It really makes you slow down, all of this, so many challenges, difficulties, arguments and hurt. It makes you reflect on whether this is really what you want. If it is worth it at all. If you really can't live without it to the point of finding somewhere that strength and patience to keep on trying no matter what…

But, what if, the desire and need for this unconditional and powerful feeling, did indeed led you to a journey of love? What if they still worked, all those wishes spent on this… but just in a way that you didn’t know you needed to experience first?

You were so eager, so open, so ready for it… You did so much in the name of love, never pretending to find a specific type of it, just wanting to feel it once… And it was given to you, a journey of love. Of love for yourself. And the urge to take care and protect every inch of you, exactly like only a person truly in love would've done.

Through the ones that came closer, their often annoying or painful ways; through others that are further, their fairytale like stories that made you feel jealous and simply sad because this is not what you have; through the experiences, the ups and downs, the never ending frustrating stories and only few feeble joyful moments… You did go through a journey. And you did find love. The one of the truest and strongest form. You found love for yourself. Who you were. Who you are. And who you can and will become.

It is not what you looked for nor expected, it's true. But it is exactly what you needed to experience and learn. Before letting others teach you what love truly is, you needed to understand it on your own, to set those boundaries, expectations, limits that only those that are worthy can overcome. Those that you will see from miles away, feel so naturally and instantly. Because now you simply know what love is, respect and kindness, and you can recognise it in every gaze of those that truly can embody it, making you feel safe.

{ ♡ }

_

[stunnajitj]

⋆˚࿔ 𝙈𝘼𝙎𝙏𝙀𝙍𝙇𝙄𝙎𝙏 (𝟑/𝟑) 𝜗𝜚˚⋆🍓

•　ＳＬＯＷ　ＵＰＤＡＴＥＳ　•

Re-upload

ＤＯＭＩＮＩＫ　ＭＹＳＴＥＲＩＯ

¹⁵ 🍓: 𝐁𝐎𝐃𝐘

/)/)

( . .)

( づ🍓 - After spending the day with Liv (Gionna ) , Raquel, and CJ (Lana) getting new piercings and tattoos, Essence wants to show them off in their group chat. But Dominik, would rather see them exclusively in person than over the phone.

↳ WWE ( ²⁰²⁵ )

ＣＨＹＮＡ

( Joanie )

¹⁶🍓: 𝐈 𝐀𝐌 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄.

ʚ🍓ɞ - Hiding any secret within the WWF universe as a major superstar was a tricky play. The reporters, the criticism from in house fans, nosey co-workers backstage, and the new internet blogs appearing nowadays made it hard to keep things personal, especially for Joanie (Chyna), who thought keep her last relationship public would make things better - but the world saw how that went. But, after fully healing Joanie came to a realization that everything doesn't need to be out in the open and vowed to keep this new relationship of her secret, not matter what.

↳ WWF ( ²⁰⁰⁰ )

ＣＭ　ＰＵＮＫ

( Phillip )

¹⁷ 🍓: 𝐁𝐔𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐋𝐈𝐄𝐒

ʚ🍓ɞ - Divorced CM Punk has a new found affection for the new seamstress on the WWE staff in NXT. But, she was keeping a bit of a distance, brushing him off and always kept small talk. So on his week at NXT, he comes up with a brilliant way to finally and fully get her undivided attention…

↳ WWE NXT ( ²⁰²⁴ )

ＥＤＧＥ　

( Adam )

 ¹⁸🍓: 𝐂𝐀𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐋 𝐈𝐓?

🍓ྀི - What happens if a storyline with a rookie goes too far on the first take?

↳  WWE ( ²⁰⁰⁸ )

ＲＡＺＯＲ　ＲＡＭＯＮ

( Scott )

¹⁹🍓: 𝐃𝐎𝐍'𝐓 𝐁𝐄 𝐌𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐍' '𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃.

ʚ🍓ɞ - Vanessa has always believed that making someone jealous ranked among one of the worst traits a person could process. However, Vanessa and Scott have been through all kinds of stages in their marriage, the honeymoon stage, the argumentative stage, and the lustful/intimacy stage. But now that Scott's schedule had become more frequent when he was in the WWF they are now at a phase of dullness...Just focusing on work, their kids, and etc. There were a few kisses here and there and the love spark was still there between them.. It was just the intimacy. And it grew more every time he went away. But now that Vanessa has a chance to visit without the kids for the first time, she wants to get that fire back, even if that means stepping out of her element.

↳ WCW ( ¹⁹⁹⁸ )

~ 𝔍𝔞𝔷𝔷𝔶 ʚ🍓ɞ

[p1utofairy]

PAC: “good karma my aesthetic. keep my conscience clear, that's why i’m so magnetic.” 🩰🍥🫧🪷

• what do you need to hear right now?

disclaimer ✩: take what resonates, leave what doesn't. i really appreciate y’all sm <3 for the patience, the love, the feedback and support. y’all are the greatest ever. i’m open to pac suggestions as well, so don’t hesitate to slide in my ask box! xoxo.

pile 1 ☂️ —

heyyy pile 1 ⭐️ what you need to hear right now is: release. relax and let go of any unhealthy attachments you may have to a certain person, place, idea or thing. i think you've been holding onto someone/something or the idea of what it could be/could’ve been. i pick up a feeling of yearning. you’ve been wanting something to work out in your favor, so you’ve been holding out…waiting to see if this situation will turn out how you anticipate. big 3 of wands energy. you’ve been waiting awhile now (i’m hearing weeks for some, months for others) for a clear answer. i think the more you wait around and stall things, the less likely things will go into motion. don’t chase, attract. remember that things will flow naturally to you and it’ll always work out in your favor no matter what — when one door shuts, several more will open. don’t put a time frame on it, you’ll get your answer/wish/clarity when you least expect. keep focusing on yourself and what you’re currently doing! whether that be going to school, work, the gym, studying, spending time with friends, etc. there’s a certain area in your life that you greatly want change to occur in, i’m heavily picking up for some that this is in regards to your love life, and again — i keep hearing that things will unfold in your favor when you least expect. very soon. you’re on the brink of something great, just don’t overthink it. relax, take a breath and just BE. your guides will handle the rest. love, prosperity and abundance are on the way to you. it just may not appear in the way you envision, which doesn’t mean it won’t happen at all. think about it this way, you might fantasize about coming across your dream person while you’re in a bookstore (on some ‘harry met sally’ type shit lol) so every time you go into a bookstore you’re kinda anticipating that to happen, but let’s say your busy at work or you’re frantically trying to prioritize doing your school work and studying and out of nowhere you look up and make eye contact with this person you’ve never seen before but you can feel the ✨vibe✨ like WHOA that’s…my person. i just see you being in your element when you meet this person pile 1, your mind will not be preoccupied/you will not have any precognitive thoughts — your person will just reveal themselves to you out of the blue. okay i feel like i’m getting carried away lol but everything’s gonna work out even better than you imagined pile 1 💗 trust that.

other channeled messages:

don't settle for less, pink + white by frank ocean, strawberry milkshake, chemtrails over the country club by lana del rey, leo sun, cancer moon, vedic astrology

pile 2 🦢 —

what's goodddd pile 2! i feel like you're in your self-love/healing era. you just bounced back from something and you did it with such resilience, ease and grace might i add. i'm hearing church girl by beyoncé, “i'm gonna love on me, nobody can judge me but me! i was born free.” okayyyyyy pile 2 i love this for y'all. i think some of you are really working on strengthening your throat chakra by speaking up for yourself and setting boundaries. just saw a meme that said “how i reclaimed the word ‘cunt’ by being one” OH WOW WOW WOW. i think you’re just over a lot of people and their bullshit, you may have just gotten out of a relationship, had a friendship breakup or recently left a job. good for you 💗whichever situation applies to you, i know it was draining and heavy on your shoulders. you finally feel like a weight has been lifted and you can spread your wings and be free. idk why i’m hearing some of you might be listening to a lot of lana del rey lately? (random but REAL af lol) i love that you know yourself at the core pile 2, you can’t fake it…if somethings not pleasing you or it’s not in your best interest, you know how to walk away and find something better. you don’t even know it, but you're inspiring to a lot of people. i think what you need to hear is: keep being your true authentic self. never forget where you came from and who helped you along the way, because i see that you have a big, bright and successful future ahead of you pile 2. you’re gonna be a star. “the diamond in the rough” from aladdin is what i’m hearing. you’ve got the wit, talent and empathy to get where you need to be in life. i wish you nothing but happiness and success pile 222 ♾️

other channeled messages:

hurricane by bridgit mendler, switch a n**** out by summer walker, olivia pope, sagittarius rising, cancer moon, pisces energy, save your tears remix by the weeknd & ariana grande, on my shoulders by sabrina claudio, red dress

pile 3 💵 —

hi pile 3 🤗 i’m getting rich vibes from y’all already lmfao, even if you aren’t (yet) there’s this energy of being very well-kept and liking the nicer things in life. you love you some good ol’ retail therapy. the message you need to hear right now is: spend your money wisely. i think you need to budget/save a bit more pile 3, you can sometimes go a bit overboard and indulge in the latest clothes, upscale restaurants or beauty products. you like nice things!!! there’s nothing wrong with that at all, you just need to make sure you’re prioritizing and balancing your earnings. some of you that picked this pile have very young energy lol like i can see you chilling at like 12am scrolling on youtube/tiktok and ooo’ing and aaa’ing at so many different product reviews and adding shit to your cart. some of you are tempted to buy stuff from the tiktok shop too lolll that was so oddly specific but i also feel like you've been big on protecting your peace lately. kickin’ back by mila j is coming to mind, “i’m kickin' back and i’m lightin' up doin' what the fuck i want. just rolled a wood, i’m feelin' good. just me, myself and this blunt.” i know das rightttt pile 3 🤭 you know your worth and you’re not settling for less than anything that you deserve — i love this.

other channeled messages:

luxurious by gwen stefani, need to know by doja cat, i just had an epiphany i need to go to tiffany’s, fenty gloss bomb, chanel chance, scorpio moon, catching flights not feelings

[isolate-ignore-ibuprofen]

 ｡𖦹°‧the outsiders—character analyses and hcs in modern day

best viewed in dark modeᝰ.ᐟ

rundown: just general character analyses of the greasers and maybe the socs. the hcs will be modern day and in the 1960s. hcs a mix of movie, book, and both—each one will be categorized for it.

┏━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┓

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ — book

𝟏𝟏:𝟏𝟏 — movie

𐙚⋆°. — both/general

☆  — modern day

★ — 1960s/whenever the book was set in

┗━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┛⠀⠀⠀⠀

tldr: the top base and indicators at the first of the symbol will be combined. if there is no indicator, it is an applicable to anytime headcanon.

𐙚 𓏵𓏵𓏵 𐙚

★ ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ dally sneaks, not really, the door’s always open there, into the curtis household to use their mom’s hair curler for his hair. speaking of his hair, i’m pretty sure it’s to the equivalent of deep fried. he bleaches it regularly but misses his roots so it sticks out. 𐙚⋆°. he also used to call ponyboy “little curtis” when he was younger.  ★ 𐙚⋆°. ponyboy still has trauma from being drowned in the fountain. he doesn’t go anywhere near water anymore. not like he knew how to swim in the first place. he likes the countryside more after that. well, not really. it reminds him of the church. two deaths, two places.  𐙚⋆°. ponyboy has never fully healed from his concussion. he still runs into things, forgets a lot, and struggles with his basic motor skills. it’s gotten slightly better over the years with the help around him. but it remains there. he has a bunch of scars from his fuck ups. ☆𐙚⋆°. cherry it would 100% listen to lana del ray. she is THE nyc girlie. she’d be addicted to pinterest too. 

☆ 𐙚⋆°. rip dallas winston, you would’ve loved blasting eminem in your headphones and even more pissing people off when they try to ask you something and you ignore it multiple times to then finally respond with “huh?”

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ i’m sorry, but cherry would kind of hate two bit. two bit’s an alcoholic, just like bob, but also a sweet person, just like bob. two bit’s alcoholism doesn’t affect him the same way bob does. still, cherry wouldn’t like him. she’d tolerate two bit. but she’d continue to hold her hate against the vice. 

★ ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ ponyboy once had a dream of an out of body experience where 7th graders were reading his life story. he saw truly what god was until he woke up. he told soda about the dream, he always tells soda about his dreams, and soda just shrugged him off. pony always had wild dreams anyway.

𐙚⋆°. marcia kept waiting for the call from two-bit. she waited for a few days until she heard what had happened w all the greasers. she still waits for the him.

𐙚⋆°. two bit kept looking for the piece of paper with marcia’s phone number. he gave up, because he knew he could ask cherry anyway. he didn’t keep her waiting anymore. 

★ ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ lets be honest, guys, ponyboy definitely has acne. like, he’s fourteen. his genes better be blessed if he doesn’t. run that back, he’d wash his face with dish soap and have clear, perfect skin. i’m pretty sure they didn’t have anything to deal with that kinda skin care back then. i mean, canonically, the curtis brothers are the only ones to be considered attractive in the whole group of greasers. maybe pony’s just a hater. 

☆ ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ ponyboy would get absolutely DEVOURED if he was in modern day school. not to mention how much of a hater he fucking is based on first impressions. he can’t even come up with good comebacks. don’t even use the time period as an excuse. ponyboy watched as two bit dropped the killer line of “then pity the back seat” on the socs. what did pony say when the socs insulted him? “white trash with mustangs and madras.” it’s over for him if he used that on a middle schooler nowadays. he’s getting butchered into minced fucking meat. he’d use youtube insults but get bullied even more. 

☆ 𐙚⋆°. dallas would go actually crazy with all the modern drugs. lean, coke, ecstasy, green, pot, blunts, meth. he would have his own dealer that he would lowk fall in love with because that’s all he has. the drugs aren’t his salvation. his dealer is. (omfgg waittt fic idea???)

☆ 𝟏𝟏:𝟏𝟏 dally went through the canon event of buzzing his hair off like every other teenage boy. i hc that he had long hair but got a buzz cut then grew it back to his current style. 

𐙚⋆°. at the dx, steve and soda split up the work during their shifts. steve handles cars, soda the register. soda doesn’t know shit about cars, and steve doesn’t know how to even count money.

☆ 𝟏𝟏:𝟏𝟏 steve hates the cars movies because he thinks they’re inaccurate to actual cars. but he still watches them because lightning mcqueen reminds him of soda. two bit once pointed out steve is like mater. he got pissed off as hell. he’s not that ugly.

☆ 𝟏𝟏:𝟏𝟏 steve and soda unironically flirt with each other. like they are the exact type of boys during middle school who slap each others’ asses and say some shit like “good boy” or “good girl.” it’s only excusable whenever soda does it because he’s hot.  don’t get me wrong, they’re straight. but what they do is some of the gayest shit ever. it’s not even zesty. it is and looks genuine. they kiss the homies goodnight.

☆ 𐙚⋆°. dally watches fight club religiously. he likes heathers too - steve showed him it - but he won’t admit it. 

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ dally really wanted to die. he really wanted to commit suicide after johnny’s death. and when he hit the ground, he was glad. ponyboy knew it too. honestly, that was the better outcome compared to the movie. dally would’ve cared as much for pony just as he did for johnny if time gave it to him. but he forgot about that. he was blinded by grief and was put out of his misery. it was better. dally didn’t die seeing what else he could’ve lived for in front of him, even if he did start to genuinely care for pony. and pony didn’t have the knowledge of dally dying before realizing he could still live with him as the reason.

𝟏𝟏:𝟏𝟏 dally messed up when he died. in his last moments, he saw pony. he saw why he should’ve went on. he saw what he had to live for. johnny was dead. was dying just like him going to fix anything? he knew it wouldn’t. he knew the whole thing was a mistake. in his last moments, he wished he could’ve reverse all he did. he died wishing he was alive. he wished he could’ve said sorry to ponyboy at least for dying. 

𐙚⋆°. it was kind of ironic, wasn’t it? johnny spent his last few moments writing to ponyboy hoping to make dally’s life better. as if he was going to be alive to be able to hear it. it was for the better that johnny died without knowing how much dally truly loved and cared for him, so much to the point his death drove him to insanity.

☆ ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ pony blasted “like him” by tyler the creator after realizing the resemblance to dally in their hair after bleaching it. he keeps his blonde hair cause it’s one of the only physical things reminding him of dally and johnny.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ steve is the most realistic brother to pony. he doesn’t let him do anything, doesn’t let him tag a long. that’s what a true brother does. pony and steve’s relationship is purely one sided from pony. he only hates him because he isn’t as lenient as his brothers are. take it as this, darry and soda let pony do mostly whatever he wants, which is what they do, because he grows up faster that way. but steve cares for pony in a brotherly way because steve doesn’t want him to end up like his father, and steve doesn’t want to end up like him either. he pushes him away because that’s the way he was taught. he pushes him away because that’s the only way he knows how to show he cares.

𐙚⋆°. johnny’s only jean jacket is steve’s old jacket. 

☆ 𝟏𝟏:𝟏𝟏 soda would try to get up an onlyfans when he got older to try to get more money to support the family. like brother, like brother or whatever they say. popping it out like his stripper older brother/j

𝟏𝟏:𝟏𝟏 dallas says he hates kids but somehow they kinda gravitate towards him. he doesn’t actually hate them, he’s just trying to keep up that cover. dallas has the energy of the cool uncle and rodrick heffley but nicer combined. he tolerates, more like protects, them because he reminds him of the childhood he never had.

𐙚⋆°. johnny did track with pony. trust me, that kid can RUN.

𐙚⋆°. two bit quotes/references obscure media around the gang, and he looks around to see if anyone got it before he just laughs it off.

☆ 𝟏𝟏:𝟏𝟏 two bit would watch tawog.

𐙚⋆°. darry wears a necklace that holds his parents’ rings after they died under his shirt that he wears 24/7. that necklace is never off him. it’s his reminder to be the best mother and father he can be to pony and soda. 

☆ 𐙚⋆°. ponyboy and johnny had the sickest handshake together. they’d also be the type of mfs you’d see practicing dap ups to get that loud ass sound that reverberating in the school hallways. and sometimes they just randomly dap up and you hear that heavenly clap. pause.

☆ 𐙚⋆°. dally teaches gang signs that he picked up from those sagging fake ass gangsters at school to little kids. 

☆ 𐙚⋆°. they all recorded a ‘we listen and we don’t judge” vid and throughout the whole thing, darry would be have his arms crossed and give whoever was talking the NASTIEST side eye. some of the loudest judging w that. 

☆ 𐙚⋆°. same concept, they did the same thing with a hmo cake. steve and soda put each other on the cake. two bit had the most down bad hmos, like genuinely peculiar hmos like mama coco, ifyky. dally is the guy just putting conventionally attractive women. ponyboy and johnny weren’t contributing but they were definitely judging hard and gossiping about their weird hmos. 

𐙚⋆°. ponyboy went from liking sunsets to sunrises. sunsets were the last glimpse of gold before it went black, childhood becoming adulthood. he liked them because he was finally growing up, finally leaving his childhood behind. it was easier and for the best to grow up anyway. but after johnny’s death, he liked sunrises a little bit more. sunrises are the dawn, the start of gold. it’s unrealistic. pony knows he can’t stay a kid forever. sunrises are an escape. he still favors sunsets, and he wishes he could really show dally a sunset. he was on the brink of becoming an adult, and maybe a sunset would’ve showed him that last glimpse of gold, of childhood that would keep him going. sunrise or sunset, pony tries to stay golden, no matter what.

𐙚 𓏵𓏵𓏵 𐙚

  "૮₍ •⤙•˶|✉️ ᴮᵉᵉᵖ..! ᵒⁿᵉ ᵐᵉˢˢᵃᵍᵉˎˊ˗

╰┈➤

╭──── · · ୨୧ · · ────╮

damn, this took WAY too long to post. i was going on and off with it. some of it kinda feels ooc, but idgaf. should i make the dally x reader fic or nah??? i honestly wanna write a dally x male reader oneshot,, anywayyyyy might make a part two.

╰──── · · ୨୧ · · ────╯

₊‧ʚ・︵︵ ₊˚๑ ᕱᕱ ꒱✦ ₊ ︵︵・₊﹆ɞ‧₊ creds to

@roseraris for the divider

@icons80s for the header

tyyy.˳˳✧.⋅ॱ   

[linkbetweenlinksau]

Tell us more about Wars, on his two year break pls

I freaking had this fully answered and then tumblr just got rid of it so you’re getting the same explanation but grumpy (at tumblr, not at you fhdkdbkdn)

Ok so, I won’t get into the details cuz it’s very dark

But wars basically had a nervous breakdown that caused him to go on a break. Worried about his safety, Zelda had him get help where he could recover and heal from whatever he was dealing with.

During the first year, he was stagnant and felt useless. The hero is meant to stop evil threading Hyrule, but what does a hero do when Hyrule is saved? He didn’t know what to do with himself and he felt he felt he had no future. He also shaved his head to look unappealing and cuz the phantom fingers touching his hair bothered him a lot. He mostly kept to himself, but his comrades, including Theo, visited. They were very understanding to him which helped. And Linkle visited a lot, since they wanted to strengthen their sibling bond, and cuz Linkle was the only woman he was comfortable being around. He was able to heal thanks to the support he got.

By the time the second year rolled around, he started to get motivated for his future. The threat to Hyrule was gone, but there were still dangers in the kingdom, so Wars figured that he could help the individual people, and focus on small problems. It motivated him enough to start training again, and soon Zelda and Impa visited, but it took a moment for him to feel comfortable around Lana. He’s still hurt over what happened to him and all the things let led up to his breakdown, but he’s recovered enough that he can keep moving forward